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I think I may be bisexual

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jklolted, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. jklolted

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    Recently I was talking to my two bisexual cousins and I decided to really question what my sexual orientation is. I have always been attracted to males, but I feel attracted to women as well for some time now. Whenever the idea of kissing a woman came in my head when I was younger I would shut it out and say i am straight. I would get so stressed and annoyed. I was shutting my true self out I think. I remember I was in a girl scout troop(we were older at the time and we really just hung out and talked instead of other girl scout things) and I kept thinking of kissing this one girl. I would just shut it away, but i wanted to kiss her. I would just get angry at myself for thinking that. I was forcing myself to be straight. I am sexually attracted to girls, but I have never been in a relationship with anyone actually. I just think I am bisexual. I am more sexually attracted to girls I think, but more romantically inclined with guys. Is that okay? I am just so confused. Also, my mother(not sure about my dad) is kind of biphobic. She just think they just want o sleep around and are just confused and that they will eventually pick a side. That pissed me off. I tried to explain as well (I never gave away that I think I am bi) but she just think they want to have orgies and are just confused about who they like.:bang: I just don't know what I am and I honestly am attracted to girls and boys I am sure of that, but I just am so confused with my sexuality right now. Have a lovely day, and thank you in advance.
     
  2. AtheistWorld

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    This might be confusing, but it's exactly like so many other stories posted here with the same sequence: person thinks they're straight, suppresses same-sex fantasies, can't suppress them anymore, and begins to panic/stress once they begin to realize their sexuality.

    For all you know, you may not even be more into girls than guys, but suppressing it so long could have just made it seem that way. But just because you like girls sexually and men romantically doesn't invalidate your bisexuality; it's a misperception that's based on old-fashioned thinking.

    If you are comfortable with it, you may want to come out, date a girl, and show your mother that bisexuals aren't confused, or only concerned with sleeping around with different people, and if she's open-minded maybe she will accept you. Insofar that she's biphobic and that insular, she will probably only accept it if you prove it to her; her readiness to accept you won't come so easily, and if you keep broaching the subject, she may start to suspect you're bi. For now, it would be wise to eschew the subject, because she seems so intolerant, and it would be bad if she deduced your sexuality, and the problem would only be compounded more by how unprepared you are to deal with it.
     
  3. jklolted

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    Thank you so much! I am definitely attracted to both guys and girls, but I am not really sure which one more or less. I would have to explore that later, but I am not sure that really matters. I definitely think I am probably bisexual and that I can't fight it anymore. I am not going to come out yet though. I love my mom and she is really a good person. She is just blinded by the media and the fact that she had a friend who said she was bisexual and just started to have sex with random people. Of course not a representation of bisexuals and my mom did also say she had a slight drinking problem. I don't know. I think I am attracted to both genders for sure, but maybe a little more to men. maybe like 60% male attraction and 40% female. I can kind of picture myself with both though. I just care about genuinity and your personality. I am not gonna sweat it though and I am just going to do me and be happy with myself. As long as I am happy with myself, I'm good. Also i don't think LGBTQ people need to come out. I mean straight people don't have to. Why do LGBTQ people have to? Why do I have to wear a bra when I am exercising? Men don't have to. I don't know, to many questions. I am definitely bisexual though. No doubt about it now. I just need to explore it further and get more comfortable with my true self. Thanks again, have a lovely day. :icon_bigg hugs to all(*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 19th Nov 2015 at 05:12 PM ----------

    Also, I would never sleep around. I have made a promise to myself to only have sex with some one I really love and that I need to know them for a while until I decide to get physical. I am not religious. Actually, i am agnostic. I just want to save myself for the right person. Definitely not marriage though. I could never do that. XD
     
  4. AtheistWorld

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    That's the spirit! I like how you've embraced your sexuality and how aware of it you are. Sometimes, I think bi people get depressed about their sexuality and ignore it to the point that they get confused about their sexuality when they feel same sex attraction; the depression makes them need an awakening, because even with their eyes open, they go through days as if they're sleepwalking. But I'm glad you're listening to your instincts and not let how others feel dominate your life. Before you listen to others, you should stop and think how you feel.

    The wonderful thing is that you're young and you still have the world in front of you.It's exciting, this is a new beginning for you. It seems like you accept and care about yourself, which is great because caring about yourself is so hard, and it's nice to see that you're happy with how you are. When I was a teenager, I was ashamed for being heteroflexible, but the world wasn't as lgbt-friendly as it is now, so...

    The day you do come out is daunting and by coming out I don't necessarily mean pointedly announcing it. I agree that LGBT people shouldn't have to come out, but eventually those close to you will find out you're bi if you date a girl and want a regular relationship. Even though you may not declare you're dating a girl, you're actions will tell everyone what they need to know. Who knows, some people may even say they're happy for you. In your case, it may not even be urgent to come out yet based on you prefer men, and the nice thing about that is that it gives you more time to think and to prepare about what you'll see if you ever are questioned by your parents about it.

    Tellingly, your mother's biphobia is based on one person and some horrible media misrepresentations about bisexuals. But since she's a good person, I believe she will accept you if she ever finds out, because you are an example of why it's wrong to think bisexuals are hypersexual.
     
    #4 AtheistWorld, Nov 19, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2015
  5. Arose1103

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    I want to tell my two best friends before I tell my family, because I think that they could give me advice. But one of the two (I won't use names so they are A and B), A, is fairly LGBT-phobic. If anything is ever mentioned in the media or anything, she sort of just goes "nononono." And turns or ignores it. Friend B can't take things seriously, but not in a rude way. If I were to try to tell her, she would just laugh awkwardly and try to make a joke and move on. I don't know what to do. I am the type of person that can't really keep secrets, so I want to tell Friend A or B, but on the other hand I can't. Help.
     
  6. AngryMomo

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    hi, if you´ve been kind of homophobic and suppressed your "homosexual" feelings you should´t hurry on labeling yourself and just give you time to discover and experience your sexuality first instead. i would´t be much concerned about your mother prejudices against´t bisexual people, if she is ok with homosexuality she´ll come to terms with bisexuality if you came out as one: just tell her being married doesn´t mean not appreciating any other men but your husband but appreciating other men physically doesn´t mean cheating on him, just like being attracted to men and women alike doesn´t mean you need to be with several at the same time or make you a promiscuous person.
    Yes, quite a lot of the bisexual people i´ve met favorite one gender to the other but that doesn´t mean they are not bisexual anymore. I´ve dated women mainly for the past 10 years and i think being with a man again it´s not bound to happen but i fell in love with men in the past and still feel attracted to some so... i consider myself bisexual.you´ve never been in a relationship with a woman so, yes it´s ok to feel differently about a gender to the other, but you haven't allow yourself to live your feelings, it´s too soon to have a solid opinion about your sexuality yet.
    And last but not least: it´s not such a big deal even though that´s what it seems when you are struggling to know and accept yourself. be patient with yourself and don´t push you further than you feel capable to go. rejection is bound to happen but those who will reject you are people you´ll feel lucky of not having in your life in the future. Your life is yours to life, and you´ll have to deal with it till the day you die :wink: so make it simple... and make it as happy as possible....love and take care of yourself