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I am not sure if I'm gay (maybe I'm just homoromantic)

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Artsy, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. Artsy

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NY Metro Area
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Within the past year I've officially come to terms with the fact that I am gay. It took me a while, probably because I didn't see myself fitting the gay stereotype (I am not very feminine, although I'm no jock either lol). I've only told four people. Despite this, I'm a very hesitant person and I tend to doubt myself a lot, so I am holding back coming out to everyone until I'm absolutely sure I am gay.

    The reason I am still not fully sure is because sometimes I question if maybe I am just homoromantic asexual. I've been having crushes on other boys since middle school and still have them today. Despite this, I have never been turned on by the idea of gay sex. But maybe it's because I've never tried it since I'm a virgin who's in the closet? In fact, I only get instantly turned on with the fetish I have for small bellies (only male bellies, though). My fetish is really embarrassing to me, and it just adds to my sexual confusion. However, even though I only instantly get turned on with my fetish, I do still have crushes on lots of boys who are fit and/or slim. Maybe I just get turned on quicker when thinking about bellies? I don know, but I'm really confused. Is it possible for asexuals to have sexual fetishes that do turn them on? :icon_sad:

    ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2015 at 07:42 PM ----------

    Also, I don't know if this is necessary to add, but I do play with myself when I get turned on by my fetish. And I have occasionally tried thinking about my crushes when playing with myself, and while I do succeed in the act, it's not as quick or as powerful as when I am thinking about my fetish. I do not like porn (I think it's cheesy and awkward to watch), but there are videos on YouTube of weight "gainers" that I sometimes watch. I'm really sorry if I'm exploiting too much of my personal issues, I'm just very frustrated :/
     
  2. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    What you like sexually is nothing to be embarrassed about.

    And I wouldn't jump to being asexual just yet. It could be that you have some anxiety you're harboring related to gay sex since you only recently accepted it. Since you're still not used to it, and maybe deep down still a bit uncomfortable with the idea, it could make it hard for you to get turned on by thinking about gay sex in a way other than just guys' stomachs. Things like that can affect how/if you get turned on sometimes. Also, if you're trying really hard to get turned on by a certain thing that can be kind of distracting and require too much mental focus if you're forcing it, which could make that more difficult. It depends. I mean, it is possible you could still be asexual. But I say give it more time and see. It could be that you need more time to adjust.
    Hope this helps!
     
  3. zeecoop

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Hertfordshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Id say that holding back from tellng everyone becuase your doubtful is a really honest way to go about this. I agree with you that you should know for sure before you tell people. It would confuse others if you flip flopped!

    When it comes to sexuality/fetishes there is no reason to be embarrsed because of your fetish, as long as everything is safe/legal for yourself and anyone else involved then just have fun with it