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Is my straight friend really straight? Help, please!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Con Fused, Nov 23, 2015.

  1. Con Fused

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    Hello and thank you for reading.

    So, long story short: I know this guy for years and we've became really good friends. Never had any sexual fantasies about him and always thought he was straight. I'm gay and he probably thinks I'm bi but all he knows for sure is that I'm very liberal about everything.

    Now the tricky part, during the last 6 months or so he has changed and we got closer than ever. He talks about sex and his penis, stuff he likes in bed or he'd like to do. Even lets me know when he shaves his balls and loads of other information straight friends would never tell me.

    All this talk and thinking about his shaved penis and ass got me sexually interested so I've tried to get him to sleep over but we just watched tv and lied really close to each other so my head was on his shoulder and he was scratching his balls from time to time.
    He was complaining how it would be great if we had a girl we could fuck together.

    He knows I find him good looking and I believe he knows I wouldn't complain if he tried something but am too scared to lose him as a friend if I suggest anything and he doesn't feel the same way.

    What do you think? Do straight guys talk about shaving their buttholes with male friends? Do they massage their glutes when giving them a massage? Is he just too confident about his sexuality or is he attracted to me?
     
  2. Zeev

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    Plenty of straight guys talk that way. Some do it more than others. It just depends on how much pride they take in their body and their hygiene. However even for me it is difficult in telling who might be gay or not.
     
  3. Con Fused

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    Thank you for sharing your opinion. I understand no-one can tell me for sure if he is bi or not but I was hoping someone has had a similar experience they could share.

    As for his hygiene, I know he takes good care of his body but talking about his dick each time we see (which is very often) is kinda confusing because it wasn't the case few months ago.
     
  4. SonicBoom

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    Hi Confused.

    Every time he talks about his penis you should just come right out and say

    " I give great blow jobs" in a joking manner.

    See his reactions and where the conversation goes.

    From there you can accurately gauge the situation and decide your next step.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  5. Con Fused

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    Wow SonicBoom, thank you for the best advice I could've asked for! I will definitely say something like that next time he complains about how much he needs sex or something and see what he says.
     
  6. SonicBoom

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    You're most welcomed.

    I do hope you SCORE. :grin:
     
  7. Con Fused

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    Thank you! Will wait until he gives me massage again and when he starts talking about his penis or how horny he is I will make a joke and see if he laughs :slight_smile:
     
  8. SiennaFire

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    I don't get a clear read on your friend. There are massages and snuggling on shoulders as well as a suggestion of a threesome with a woman. If your friend knew that you were gay, I'm wondering how that would affect the dynamics? Maybe he's bi-curious and hoping that you'll come out first.

    SonicBoom makes a great suggestion as a way of opening the dialog ...
     
    #8 SiennaFire, Nov 24, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2015
  9. Con Fused

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    Hey SiennaFire, I definitely agree with you. I feel like he is giving me signs to make a move and if it was someone I just met I'd go for it. In this case I don't want to create an awkward situation which is why I came here for help.

    For example, last time he gave me a massage and asked if I want him to do my glutes so I said ok. Then I felt his penis touching my hand at one point and he didn't move for a while and I'm sure he could feel my arm definitely. (I didn't move my arm either.)

    Maybe he was focused on my back and didn't pay attention to it but I hope you can understand why I find all these things so confusing.

    I don't know if I'm just being paranoid whilst trying to read all these signs but none of my male friends would get that close and let me feel their cock on my arm for a minute and be so comfortable about it.
     
  10. guitar

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    Some people are really comfortable in their sexuality and flirty. But more than likely, your friend has some gay in him. I like the blowjob line Sonic Boom suggested above. What friend giving massages and cuddling you isn't the way any of my straight friends act - they wouldn't be caught dead doing that with me because they aren't gay.

    Honestly, your friend is acting the way I did around gay people when I was starting to come to terms with my sexuality.
     
    #10 guitar, Nov 24, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2015
  11. Con Fused

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    Hello guitar, thank you so much for your opinion. Not sure if people reading this think I'm dumb and it really doesn't matter. However, what you've just said is exactly what I was hoping to hear ie someone who has had a similar experience and especially being the one who was starting to come to terms of their sexuality.

    What I was thinking is that even if he is so comfortable with his sexuality and straight as he claims to be I am always suspicious when people keep saying they are honest, straight or clever as the ones who really are any of these things let actions speak louder than words.
     
  12. guitar

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    You're exactly right. He's being incredibly suspicious. If he starts buddying up to you again, I would almost ask him point blank, "where is this coming from?" Something is clearly up.
     
  13. SiennaFire

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    The more I hear about this guy, the more I'm convinced that he's bi-curious to some degree. With all due respect to guitar, I think asking your friend "where is this coming from?" might be too confrontational and force him to deny. You want to be the good gay cop.

    What do you want to happen with your friend? How out are you?
     
    #13 SiennaFire, Nov 24, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2015
  14. Con Fused

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    Never outed to him but he knows I'm very liberal and suspects I'm bi.
    I would like to know where we stand. We can have sex, be fuck buddies or just friends. I'm fine with everything he wants just want to know what it is.
     
  15. SiennaFire

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    Would you consider yourself in the closet or out? Or more specifically, are you reluctant to come out to your friend because you're in the closet?

    Seems like you feel some attraction to him. Since you are gay and we suspect he is curious, you should take the lead finding out where you stand with him. He's already dropped hints by being physical when you hang out. Whether you go with SonicBoom's suggestion or some other way to break the ice is up to you.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
     
    #15 SiennaFire, Nov 25, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
  16. Con Fused

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    Most people know or think I'm bi so wouldn't consider myself really closeted.

    I definitely am attracted to him now even though it wasn't the case before. I wouldn't come here for help if I didn't want anything to happen and I needed to hear what it looks like to other people so I know it's not just my imagination. Since most of you guys find him suspicious or curious I definitely feel confident to make a joke as SonicBoom suggested and am even thinking of asking him to come over for a movie night and then make sure we watch something that could help.

    Any suggestion is the most welcome.
     
    #16 Con Fused, Nov 25, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
  17. baddech

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    Based on my experience a lot of straight guys are bi or curious at the least. Some are only willing to try something with their friends. The closeness the two of you share reminds me of the closeness I shared with the straight friends I had done things with.

    Sometimes the only obstacle preventing us is our minds telling ourselves something cannot be. Even despite reality.