Hi, Thanks for reading my post. I have an interesting situation that im in. Recently I have been uncomfortable around guys, getting SA around them. Less so with girls but still prevalent. Today in class we had presentations. There was this guy in my class, and hes doing some skit and is dancing etc, and he is muscular. Now when this was happening, I got very uncomfortable and started to get this tingling sensation in my testicles. It also felt if the center of my body shifted towards my genitals. As if I was turned on. To be noted, a good portion of my class wonders about my sexual orientation. I believe they think I am bi. So, when there is something like a guy dancing, doing something manly/sexual, I feel the eyes of some of my classmates shift towards me, and I know they are looking at me to see if I have a reaction to the "sexy" thing the guy is doing. This makes me more nervous/makes my reaction even more intense. The thing is, I don't have any mental attraction. I don't get turned on in my mind thinking about him. I dont have that type of sexual attraction or lust that I have with women. This has been happening for a while now, and I keep trying to tell myself that I am gay, or at least bi, but at the same time I absolutely cannot picture doing anything sexual with a guy!!! It's very confusing, when I think about it mentally I get the shivvers and cant bear to think of it, It just feels wrong, and my body goes limp and is completely turned off. Then, when I am im a situation like that (usually in class or anxiety provoking situations, I may have this tingling feeling and attraction feeling in my testies, when a guy moves in front of my field of vision or something like that), I have the physical reaction. Is this just my body ahead of my mind in terms of attraction to men? Am I in deep denial and not letting myself be attracted to men? I feel like this may be the case, but at the same time everything in my mind says im not attracted, and I certainly dont lust after guys, as I said I get the shivvers when thinking about it. And I still get turned on to women, can easily get off with just my mind fantasizing about them, and I if I try the same with guys I get absolutely no where. I have been taking maca root, I dont know if this is related to any of this. Also, to be noted, when I am around gay guys, I have none of this tingling in my testies. I feel very confident around gay guys, and also beta-skinny guys, but when around guys I view as higher social status I get nervous!
Hey ! Sexuality can be complicated and takes time to be understand ! As what you are saying I'll say that - you are straight but a little bit confused about who you truly are -bi leaning toward girls (the lust and mental attraction) Maybe your attraction to guys is physical and to girls it is mental and emotional . Some bisexual have a "natural" attraction to a gender and a sexual attraction to the other gender (more physical) Take time to understand what is admiration/envy/desire/arousal ect ---------- Post added 26th Nov 2015 at 07:33 AM ---------- Oh and you should know something : anxiety and arousal cannot happened at the same time (they occupies the same place in the brain) so if you are anxious about other the thing you feel down there can be just anxiety that trigger what is called "groinal response" (happens for many hocd sufferers who are really scared to be gay after a straight life) I am actually not sure if I am bi in denial or straight with hocd because it began after a nightmare I had and since that day I am thinking over and over about me maybe being gay . I sometimes have 1week not able to be aroused by guys while masturbating and when I am anxious I feel like men turn me on but not girls so it is quit complicated ! Ahah
