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Old 26th Nov 2015, 11:44 AM   #1
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loving sex but turned off by genitals - any advice?

Hi everyone,

So I'm trying to wrap my head around, well, myself basically. And so far I was unable to find any information, or same experiences on the net. Maybe I just need a refresher in let me google that for you training, who knows..

So the situation is as follows:
I identify as pansexual, polyamorous woman. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with a heterosexual guy and a lesbian woman. They know each other but are not connected with each other. Anywho. Realizing my pansexuality was kinda a big deal for me, because it explained a lot, but there is still one big question bugging me..

I enjoy sex with any gender, but am not at all aroused by genitals, huh?

So seeing genitals, touching them or whatever - has no effect at all for me. I get sexually aroused by the person, character, smell, etc. but not by the actual sexual areas of anyones body... Quite the opposite actually. I still do love sex though.

Now this has never really been a problem for me, however, I don't know how to explain it to my partners. like, I did tell them, and they do respect it, but I don't think they understand it really, and quite frankly I'm a bit afraid, they might think I'm not into them or don't really love them or sth like that..

So, I'm wondering if there's anyone here who had the same or similar situation and who can give me any advice on dealing with it?

Sorry for the huge text.
Cheers.
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Old 26th Nov 2015, 01:33 PM   #2
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Re: loving sex but turned off by genitals - any advice?

While it's possible to be a sexual person and sex repulsed I don't think that'd apply to you since you still like sex, correct? I don't think it's all that uncommon to find genitalia unappealing. I mean it is sort of icky (but then again I'm ace) but if you're distressed by feeling this way perhaps talking to a doctor or counselor about it would be helpful?
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Old 27th Nov 2015, 04:50 PM   #3
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Re: loving sex but turned off by genitals - any advice?

I'm a male, but I can tell you that I also feel that way in that seeing another guy's genitals are a turn off. I enjoy their body and masculine features in their face, but their groin area just doesn't do it for me.

I'd say it's fairly normal to feel that way. In all honesty, sex organs are quite strange looking (the look, smell, and feel). And I think it will especially be a turn off if you haven't had much experience prior with another person's genitals. By that I mean maybe now it appears to be unappealing, but maybe you'll eventually look past it and enjoy it? I don't see why your partners won't accept that if you tell them. I think there's other ways of expressing love; genitals aren't always needed.

Hope this helps!
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