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I wanna start embracing being gay, but im afraid of going to hell.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Brightlights, Nov 29, 2015.

  1. Brightlights

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    As im sure many others, I knew from a young age I wanted to be with a woman. However the thing thats continuously stopped me from embracing it, is my fear of going to Hell. I don't really attend church anymore (i used to be a bible bashing christian) but i stopped going. Each time i go or even think about god i feel guilty and think "I need to date a man"
    How did you guys get over this? See the thing is, i dont even know if i believe in God but im afraid that if he is real, i wont get to spend eternity with my family.
     
    #1 Brightlights, Nov 29, 2015
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  2. Secrets5

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    Hello,

    Re-read Levictus 20:13, to me it suggests they're talking about hierarchy (''lie'' meaning to be above, or not tell the truth) but because the Pope (of 1302) didn't want to give up their hierarchy, they made it about sexuality. Also, female homosexuality was never banned (reference tyger: how straight am I? BBC).

    You could ask your preist in ''confession'' - they can't know who you are as they're behind a curtain and you can get some help. I know many preists and religious people who are accepting of LGBT+.

    And another thing, if you do go to hell, and you have a girlfriend, then she'll be going to hell with you, so you will have some family there. [sorry if this offends you, I don't think you'll go to hell, but if God thinks so...]

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. MusicNotes

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    This is tough, and it really sucks :frowning2:
    I went through this same thing, and really struggled with it, but came to terms with it. Although I am now agnostic. I can't give much advice but...
    Just remember God loves you, he makes no mistakes. He knew what would happen before you were born. There are many LGBT+ members who are Christian/Catholic. You can love a women, and God can, and will, still love you.
     
    #3 MusicNotes, Nov 29, 2015
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  4. TheBiBoy

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    Hell is not real.It was only invented in the times before Martin Luther kin to make people pay the church indulgences so they are not damned to hell android is where that came from.It is just a stupid thing that should hae never came around.So, this is how I got over it.And I hope it helps you also.I was like you also.I knew I wanted to be with a girl when I was young but I also wanted to be with a guy but I always just tried to hide that part if me until I figured out hell wasn't real and I embraced myself.

    If you need more help I am here for you,
    TheBiBoy
     
  5. Mental

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    Seeing as your christian, and believe in jesus, you won't go to hell. You'll either go directly to heaven, or depending on your idea of christianity, spend some time in purgatory and then go to heaven. No eternal pain for you!
     
  6. tgOlivia

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    Okay, look at it this way.
    There either is a God, or there isn't. If there isn't than there's no hell to worry about. So don't worry about it.

    If there is a god, and a hell, there are again two possibilities. Either god will send you to hell for being gay, or not. If not, than you have nothing to worry about. If so, than is that really the kind of heaven worth going to? If following your heart will send you to hell do you really want to go to heaven? A homophobic god isn't, if you ask me, a god worth serving.

    Anyway, as far as going to hell. I don't think you can comprehend eternity. Maybe the first couple 1000 years in heaven and hell would be different. But that is literally 0% of eternity. Eventually, an eternally perfect life and an eternally torturous one will feel the same. Old and boring. There isn't really a reason to fear hell, if it's eternal.

    So yeah. I don't believe in hell, I don't think you should either. But if there is a hell you don't know for sure being gay will send you there, plenty of religions say it's okay to be gay. And even if you do go to hell, in the long run it doesn't really matter, because eternity is a long time and you'll get bored soon enough.

    Follow your heart, and try not to be afraid. You'll be okay.
     
  7. Ryu

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    As Richard Dawkins (paraphrased)said; '"There probably isn't a God, no get on and live your life"'
     
  8. Steve FS

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    Hell actually had pagan roots before it found its way into the church. The church used it as a weapon to keep people in line, and it has been ingrained into society and into the minds of religious people ever since.

    Apart from hell, does homosexuality lead you to hell or heaven?

    Remember Corinthians 6:9 ? The infamous bible verse about who has access to the Kingdom of God.

    Here's the translated verse from the New International Version:

    Here's the ORIGINAL verse from the King James bible:

    Does the original verse say anything about homosexuality?

    No, it does not. And you'd think that something as "terrible" as homosexuality would be mentioned as something that would prevent someone from entering the Kingdom of God.

    I am very certain that the whole stigma against homosexuality was caused by hateful preachers who teach the wrong things for their own agenda. The whole religious community is brainwashed into hating something that does not deserve to be hated.

    In the entire bible, Jesus did not condemn anyone for their sins EXCEPT the self-righteous pharisees (false preachers). He even forgave thieves and murderers, for crying out loud! These preachers are teaching the wrong things. They need to be stopped and you need to approach religion and spirituality from a clean perspective. Otherwise, you'll just be disillusioned into being hateful and fearful.

    Remember: love is all that counts in the end, and those that spread hate, lies, and deceit will get what's coming for them. There's really nothing you can do except do your own research and pray for those that are following an impure path.

    And if you're not religious... well, I highly doubt that considering you created this thread in the first place, lol.
     
    #8 Steve FS, Nov 29, 2015
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  9. Chiroptera

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    Hello,

    Here is a interesting link (from our Resources page) that might help you: Empty Closets - Religion and Homosexuality

    Being gay is totally normal. You aren't hurting anyone with it, and therefore you aren't doing nothing wrong. Don't be afraid of being yourself and loving whoever you love.
     
  10. Redbud123

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    As long as you live righteously and morally and treat marriage as a sacred bond, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. If being "gay" is your largest transgression, then I doubt you'd be sent to hell.

    The ten commandments are the guide people usually go by and even some of those can be forgiven. Being gay is NOT a cardinal sin, and some would say its not a sin at all.

    Having faith and doing good works should be all that you need to do.
     
  11. MelShill

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    The church is a big reason as to why I never questioned my sexuality growing up. I grew up in a household where it was taught nothing but being straight was accepted. I didn't even feel comfortable watching same sex romance on tv. I thought it would all lead me to hell. I have to believe that whatever I do on earth- a life that is only going to be no more than 80 years (if I'm lucky)- won't justify an enternity of agony. I haven't followed the church's teachings in years. one thing I remember specifically about the Catholic Church was when I read his a murderer would be forgiven and let into heaven. But that same preacher said gays go straight to hell. That logic is just why I no longer follow that religion.
     
  12. IG88

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    Sorry Secrets5, I disagree with your take on Leviticus. "Lie" is used several times, and it's the nice way of saying "sex" without actually saying it. For example, Lot's daughters had sex with him in order to preserve the family line (side note: ew!!):

    32"Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father." 33So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 34On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, "Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father."… (Genesis chapter 19).

    But, that verse is from the Old Testament, which as Christians we don't have to follow (Hebrews 8:13)! Yay! Too many rules anyway...

    OP, this is not an easy question to answer, and there are several Christian groups divided on this. Some Christians believe that it's wrong and deserving of hell. But, anyone who believes in Jesus will have eternal life (John 6:47). I don't see any strings attached in that verse. We all sin in some way, and, if practicing homosexuality is a sin, it's no greater sin than other sins. Also, some gay Christians believe that being gay isn't wrong, but gay sex is wrong; while others believe committed gay relationships that involve sex are not wrong (look up Matthew Vines's book God and the Gay Christian). Hope this helps! (*hug*)
     
    #12 IG88, Nov 29, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
  13. guitar

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    There's a free 20-page book on Google Play Books called Dear God. I highly recommend reading it. It's written as a conversation piece between a gay teen and a pastor about what the Bible actually says.
     
  14. Thespian

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    I'm gay and a Christian. When I first started questioning my sexuality, one of the first things I did was talk to my youth pastor. She told me that God created me exactly the way I am, and He loves me no matter what. Just because you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman doesn't mean you're going to hell. There's so much more to you than just your sexuality, and God sees that. You don't have to choose between your faith and your sexual orientation.
    I hope this helps.
     
  15. Mental

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    What most people don't get, is as long as you're christian, it doesn't matter what your sexual orientayion is, you won't ever step foot in hell.

    ---------- Post added 29th Nov 2015 at 11:24 PM ----------

    Oh, by the way, technicaly, no human spends an eternity in hell. On judgement day, everyone goes to heaven except the source of evil.
     
    #15 Mental, Nov 29, 2015
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  16. Contact1111

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    Hell could be real, but being gay or any other orientation won't get you there. The verse in the bible that the word was translated from is of unknown meaning. In the modern era, the "a man shall not lie with a man" was kind of added to the original document. What that verse actually said is essentially anyone's guess. However, it is unlikely to have anything to have to with homosexuality. The original word used was a man shall not commit arsenstroika with another man. However, the word arsenstroika was used in another text that said "a man shall not commit arsenstroika with his wife". What it means is unknown, but it appears to be something other than being gay since it could happen in a male-female relationship. Since it didn't mean that, there isn't really even any reason to avoid church or anything.

    I actually had similar concerns to yourself on an occasion. I even had minor concerns that I could possibly be possessed, due the way I suddenly started having sexual thoughts about other guys when I was in my early 20s. It was just the sudden change in my thoughts like that which got me concerned. However, I can say that I just noticed a new and positive side to things, and I am certainly not possessed. I never was really religious or anything and my parents weren't either, but the real reason why I got myself paranoid about this hell stuff was the fact that there is a lot of negative talk about people liking the same sex that gets presented in all sorts of ways. There's a lot of acceptance, but there are still jokes that get made a lot by people. Then, there is the group of people who believes that it is something that could make you go to hell. When your scared and confused about your sexuality, it's an understandable worry to think that maybe those people are right. However, they aren't. They don't even have their facts straight when it comes to what was said by the original document of the bible. So, just ignore all that and stay true to yourself.
     
    #16 Contact1111, Nov 29, 2015
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  17. middleGay

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    My favorite way of looking at religion and the question of God which are really two different things is this...

    So God the almighty created the universe in all of it'a almost incomprehensible magisty and wonder. He created the stars, the galaxies tbe super clusters. Supernova, black holes, gas giants, planets and moons. He created a universe so impossibly vast and so overwhelming complex. He then created cabon based life and who knows, maybe other forms of life all over the galaxy. On one small hunk of rock in an arm of a spiral galaxy some life evolved perhaps according to his plan. God was so concerned about this life that every day for the last few thousand years he has really really give a crap about what those intelligent monkey's eat, what days of tbe week they work and rest on, what fabrics they mix and what sexual positions they adopt and who they sleep with.

    Now think about that and wonder why a God with all of his infinite capabilities could possibly give a damn about who one evolved primate sleeps with? It's completely and utterly ridiculous. Secondly, if you break one of these seemingly arbitrary laws you'll go to hell forever... Or for a really long time. Oh you worked on a sabath, stone him or her to death and let them burn in hell for thousands of years!!! Death to the guy who ate that delicious coconut shrimp appetizer!!! Burn in hell!!

    Come on... Seriously...

    Much of the above is paraphrased from speeches by Christopher Hitchens.

    I mean no disrespect to those who humbly follow a religion and harm nobody, I do have a problem with much of organized religion.

    If there is a God he's not like what is described by most of the major religions and he is indifferent to who you sleep with. The most appealing hypothesis I have heard is that God is infinite consciousness and we are all a spark of that consciousness, perhaps our brains act as a filter and hence we are all a part of God. Hence to love God is to love ourselves and the goal should be to maximize that love of ourselves and others. It's an appealing hypothesis with no real proof.

    Everything else is stone age mythology, pagan beliefs that have been repackaged and sold as absolute truth to the masses in order to control and placate.

    You may draw much comfort from religion, I know I did at one point, or at least I drew a little comfort and I respect that. However, if it causes you pain I encourage you to think critically of religion and spend some time researching it's origins.

    Just my 2 cents.
     
  18. Jax12

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    The way I look at it is this: IF there is a God, then it is God who made us this way. If there isn't a god, then we are still born this way. My pastors in my previous church kept reiterating the fact that God still loves us, which is why he died on the cross. Doesn't matter if you're a prostitute or a thief, he still loves you for reasons that even we don't understand.

    Or, if you wanted to look at it in a non-religious perspective: everyday, people are ostracized, bullied, and ridiculed for being different; whether it be the clothes you wear, or your lack of skill in sports.

    Sexuality is no different.
     
    #18 Jax12, Nov 30, 2015
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  19. IG88

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    A25, do you know what text that quote came from about a man not arsenstroika with his wife?
     
  20. CapColors

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    I'm impressed by the Bible scholars on this site!