I'm painfully unsure whether I'm gay or bi/pan, need help

Ok,here goes. I apologize for the length. I'm in my early twenties and I've been confused about my sexuality since I was 10 years old, when I first heard the word 'gay.' I didn't know why at first, because sexual attraction hadn't really kicked in fully. I had a girlfriend when I was eleven and have had many crushes on girls throughout my life. I have a crush on a girl even at this moment and I check her facebook page constantly. At the same time, when my sex drive kicked in around 15, I only had an urges toward pictures of men. I haven't had really ever experienced romantic attraction to guys and I find myself checking them out less in public, though I have nonetheless experienced sexual attraction to guys I meet/see every now and then.

I am stressed by my confusion between my strong romantic attraction toward cis-gendered women, which significantly affects me emotionally, and my strong sexual attraction toward men. When I make out/basically do everything other than intercourse with women I'm mostly (maybe 60-70% of the time) aroused. Sometimes kissing/other stuff feels forced though, depending on the girl. However, the majority of the time I have had sex with women I've had a voice in my head tell me that I'm gay. I've only had sex with girls a few times, and I can only remember two times that the thought (that I'm gay) did not appear, out of maybe 8 or 9 times. I have sometime aroused myself with pictures/videos of women online, but rarely compared with men. When I do the former it sometimes, but not always, feels forced. But it's the inconsistency between my ability to be attracted/aroused by women and my more-or-less natural pull toward the male body that has made me always question my sexuality. I'm thinking that I could have a sexual experience with a woman and enjoy it/not think I was gay I may just have not had sex with that right woman, but I'm also nervous to try it again (though I still want to try) because I'm not sure what I will find out.

However.... I have very strong attractions toward women romantically, and sometimes I know this borders/breaches sexual attraction. I really like girls' personalities. I like spending time with them, holding their hands, etc. I really want to be in a relationship with a woman and am hurt when it doesn't work out. Beside when I was 11 I've never been in any long term relationship. I currently have a woman I like right now. Still... I'm nervous whether or not I'd enjoy sex as much as I know I could with a boy. I think she's beautiful and when I see her I like her body, but I pretty much don't fantasize about her sexually when I'm alone.

I had one experience that's possibly elucidating. I was tripping and had sex with a female friend and during sex told her I was gay; I was also aroused so she was generally confused. I regretted it after and didn't really speak to her for a few weeks, which I in turn felt bad about.

I have been with only one guy. I wasn't that attracted to him/found him only the uglier side, but it felt much more natural. We didn't have intercourse, only oral and making out. I slept over his dorm and held him all night. But I didn't want to speak to him after that/felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I'm not sure if I'm solely attracted to guys or if my very much real feelings for women mean that I am not gay but sexually fluid/pansexual (not bi: bisexuality is an exclusionary/very gendered word). I don't know if I'm in denial and just have internalized homophobia and I can't really talk to anyone right now.