Why do I freak out when boys like me?

I understand what you mean. I'm thinking I'm probably bisexual bi-romantic with an inclination towards men, but whenever a guy shows that he likes me, I freak out and reject them. Honestly, all of these people that liked me, i could've liked, but when I'm in that moment, I quickly turn them down.

Honestly though, I've always equated this to my upbringing and my sexuality troubles. Not only am I not used to being around guys, because I have barely any guy friends and don't have too many fond memories of those I do have, but I've always been scared of having my first relationship. Also, confusion about sexual orientation can almost make you feel like you shouldn't date anyone without knowing what you like, or atleast in my case.

But If you don't feel attracted to females sexually or romantically, maybe you aren't queer? I don't know how you're feeling but bisexuality is a very rigid box sometimes when trying to understand who you're attracted to, so you could be attracted to girls in one way, maybe romantically, but guys sexually and romantically.

You really just kind of have to think about what you can see yourself doing. Think if you could feel sexual attraction to a girl, like you would with perhaps a guy, or if you can't imagine liking guys in a certain way as you would with females.

I have zero expertise in sexuality since I'm not even sure what I am, but I know that you could be not straight, but you might confuse it for straight because it doesn't fit exactly into certain sexuality. When I think about it too much, I get very confused as well and I don't even know if I'm telling the truth to myself. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk and I hope you understand yourself soon :>

 

Welcome to Empty Closets, Cxx16.

I'm not sure how old you are, but if your still in your teens, that feeling of being freaked out by the attention of boys could be a sign that your just not ready for a relationship, yet, regardless of the sex or gender of the person. And that's okay. You have plenty of time. In fact, some women report that they don't hit their sexual peak and fully grow into their sexuality until their late twenties or early thirties.

Its also possible that the boys making moves on you are awkward and/or have terrible game, and that makes you uncomfortable. Teenage boys sometimes can act pretty stupid and immature (trust me, I was one), and its a fine strategy to avoid them until they grow up a bit.

Also, from what you are describing, it is quite possible that you are a heteroromantic bisexual, or a hetero-leaning bisexual (the difference being that you might be capable of romantic feelings for a woman, but its just more rare.) if that's so, that's totally normal. According to Lisa Diamond's research, bisexuals that are evenly attracted to both men and women are less common, while most bisexuals exhibit a preference for same or opposite sex partners. Bisexuality is in fact a fairly flexible thing.

So relax. Take your time. Don't worry about figuring it all out today. Just pay attention to your body, your feelings, and your attractions, go with what feels right.

One final thing to consider: If boys making a move on you feels uncomfortable, consider whether you making a move on a boy you like would feel more comfortable. Its possible that you might be more comfortable pursuing them. Just a thought.

I hope this helps....

 

The best answer depends on knowing your age, and who you are. Only you can determine what's best in the end. But it sounds like you may have social anxiety. You should see a therapist for a proper diagnosis of this. But I have a similar experience.

I do have social anxiety as diagnosed by a licensed therapist, however there are a few factors that also play into my situation.

From what I can remember, I was originally sexually and romantically attracted to females. Over time that attraction has moved more towards males who were the first to show attraction to me. Females were never interested in me because I was literally the ugly duckling. After my transformation into a "swan" I was socially screwed up to the point where I am literally terrified of women showing any attraction towards me. I will simply do whatever it takes to avoid such a situation. Which sucks because I am so lonely. I can't relate to gay men because I don't feel like one of them. I don't relate to straight men because I want to have sex with them. Sometimes I want a relationship with a guy (usually when I'm depressed) other times I prefer to be single (whenever I'm in a good mood). Because of life experiences I don't wish to bring children to this world. I'd much rather adopt and make better the lives of children brought here and neglected than add more lives to this situation. I also think this has to do with me liking men over women.

Don't feel rushed to decide anything today. Just experience life. Accept all the love into your life that you can.