Hey! So, I've really been thinking about this a lot lately and I thin I might be bi but I'm not sure. I've liked guys my entire life and never had an experience where I liked a girl. People always say when they realize they're not straight, they look back and see all the clues, but I see absolutely nothing. Maybe 2 years ago, my then best friend asked me if I was straight because I was becoming increasingly tomboyish. Probably like a week after that, I started to think about what she said kind of jokingly until I felt attracted to a girl I knew. I didn't think what I was feeling was real because the moment I realized what I was doing, I could instantly switch it off and look at her normally. I dunno, I mean, one reason I don't think I'm bi is because I feel like I almost coerced myself into liking girls, which doesn't make sense, but sometimes I'm scared I'm trying to push any attraction I have because I want to be bi. Anyway, I started liking girls more frequently until I had this huge, infatuation on a girl in one of my classes. However, after her, I didn't really like anyone except for the occasional attraction to both genders. I feel like I'm just pushing myself to hard and stressing because any and all attraction I have kind of shut down towards everyone. I still like guys more and I think when I like them, it's easier or stronger (or maybe that's because I'm used to liking guys). My attraction towards girls has always been more sexual than anything else and I worry that I confused my attraction for extreme admiration and being very comfortable with girls. I've been around mostly women my entire life with few guy friends, and I've never dated. I'm 17. Could I be bi? Could I be bicurious? Some bisexuals have unequal attraction to different genders but it feels really weird with me :/ Could I even be pan? I do feel attracted to other genders, but I've never heard one definite definition of pansexual.
I think it's too early to try and fit yourself into a label right now. You're still figuring it out an that's okay! When you're still not sure about things, trying to come up with a label can make it more stressful, and often harder. Because then you overthink everything. Just try not to think about it too much. If you like a girl, don't ask yourself why or if it's real. Just let your feelings come to you and just continue being open to what you're feeling, which you've already been doing a lot of. It could be your sexuality's changed a bit, or more likely you're kind of growing into your sexuality if that makes sense. Overthinking it won't do you much good, so you'll just have to be patient and feel what you feel. Remember, "questioning" is a label too and I think it will help take a lot of stress off of you if you train yourself not to try to classify what you're feeling with certain labels. I mean, you're attractions towards people have changed a lot, so in the future they may become stronger and more clear, or more refined. Don't be too hard on yourself for not having a label yet. The best way to figure out what you're feeling is to just simply feel. Labels kind of get in the way of that while you're figuring it out. So just try to relax, be patient with things, and don't push yourself to know things that maybe you just aren't meant to know right now. If you like someone, you like them. Good luck!
