:bang:hey everyone, i'm new on EC, a young teen(13-16) male, and i'm just really confused about my sexuality, and wondered if anyone responding could help me figure this out. so, let me state my story. so as a kid, most of my friends at school have been girls, and i never hung with the boys cuz i didn't understand them, and i liked books and shakespeare,mytholgy,history,religion, and all that jazz, and they were into sports and making trouble, and wrestlers, so I had few male friends. anyways, i never found myself attracted to any of the girls around me, except if someone said i had a crush on them or smthn, then they kinda looked pretty to me i guess. instead, i always had crushes on male characters in cartoons and movies, especially if they looked older, and kinda "bearish", i guess you could say. i sometimes imagined kissing them, so i grew attracted to them. this applied to real life guys who looked like that too, by the way. i don't know if i realized this was different from the norm. anyways, when i was 7, my family moved to canada from saudi arabia, and i found out what the word 'gay' meant, eventually. it was always used in a negative context by people around me, and usually still is. my family, immediate and extended, are VERY ignoranlty homophobic, and would proabbly never talk to me if i came out as anything other than straight. so anyway, when i found out what the word gay meant, i started to wonder if i was gay because i had feelings like that, and i was it was bad thing, so i needed to change. i completely internalized this, because my parents just aren't the type to talk advice, and i can't trust anyone else cuz i don't know how they'll react. most of my feelings on anything have been like that. so, i started to try and pretend i like girls, and fool myself that i do. i watched straight porn, liked it, and still do,but i would NEVER have sex with a girl. so now i'm confused, because how can i like straight porn if i don't have some hidden attraction to girls? but i'm shure i tricked myself to hard to like it so it musn't be so. so shy is it persisting? am i really gay or is it just social conditioning, spending early childhood in saudi arabia, where there is limited contact with the opposite sex? is this just and illusion? am i really being possesed by 'the devil' as my family would belivee if i came out ? am i bi- sexual? should i even care anymore? sometimes i feel like a wierdo at my school, like i'm the only one brooding over this issue with a blank face on, while everyone is enjoying their care-free lives... wells thats it, i you have any advice for me plz post it thx I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED IT BADLY, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T END UP HELPING ANYWAY!!! ,beastwith2backs. ps. i know this questions has been asked like a million times here, to the point it almost cliche, but i felt like i jad something to add, so yeah plz help me thx again, beastwith2backs.
Hey! I obviously don't know everything about you but if I had to guess I would say you're gay. Porn doesn't signify sexuality (there are straight people who like gay porn and vice versa). Your sexuality is legitimate and important don't let your family get you down. Are they against it for religious or cultural reasons? I'm sure that's hard. Feel free to post on my wall of you have any other questions. Hope this helped a little.
Omg get out of my head. This is a little crazy but I've experienced almost all the stuff you've been though! I've went thought the strait porn thing, the catoons when I was younger and i hardly understand men along with 90% of the other stuff you mentioned. Okay I going to give you my best advice here we go... First of all your not possessed by Satan and don't let anyone try to tell you that it's a diseases or a mental illness it's not, and personally i think its kind of a blessing. Secondly you can like any kind of porn, it doesn't mean much. I used to only like strait porn till I got a sex toy and I don't even need to watch porn anymore. I'm not telling you this to go out and buy one, I'm just saying there are a million types of porn and ways to do things. Now one way I figured out I was gay was imagine your self in your fantasy world what ever that is, who are you in love with?(mines back in time at the height of the Roman empire but there's magic and crap. My lover and I are both legionaries.) Your not the only one at school either, most people have the same issue and when I told my friends I was gay they were flabbergasted because they didn't have a clue. So there's a lot of people in the same boat. Now the whole parent thing being homophobes I understand a little. My family is alright with me being gay (not that they know yet) but will literally disown me if I join the military, which I am, so I get that a little. Dude send me a message if you ever want to talk, and also if you like religion and mythology check out the book Dantes inferno. Best of luck!
Omg! People actually replied to my first thread! Thx for the advice both of you! It really helped, and I'm glad to know someone had similar experiences as I did, even though that's a bit freaky,to be honest. In my fantasy world, Kanye I'm in golden age Baghdad and my partner is body guard for the caliph(weird,right?) ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2015 at 01:16 AM ---------- Also,I'm starting to wonder what's the point of even believing in God, if there's a slight chance he might actually hate me just for being different than most people!
If you believe that God made you, then he made you like this for a reason. Personally I have an odd view on religion from freaky experiences but that's me.
Well I don't know what religion your questioning but what ever God you believe made your soul he made you like this for a reason. Or you could just become an atheist, it's really up to you to decide. I'm agnostic because I believe in ghost which leads me to believe that there has to be another realm, but it a personal and opinionial thing.
Hi there! First off, God does not hate you. There is a massive difference between religion and faith... Faith is believing in God and having a personal relationship with Him and basically it comes down to Loving God, loving your neighbours and being kind and caring towards others, that's it. Religion on the other hand is very much a man made thing, it's been created to control people and to have power over them. Build a personal relationship with God and be a good, loving person... As for your sexuality, from what you described I'd say you could be gay or bi. If you where a 100% straight you wouldn't have crushes on guys. Don't try to put yourself into a box and slap a label on it, there's no reason to limit yourself, rather go with the flow and see where you end up. I'm glad you joined EC, it's an awesome community to talk to and I'm sure you'll find it a safe place to help you figure yourself out!
Yeah, but I feel if I don't label myself people,especially people who don't know much about LGBT stuff, won't understand, since they might think that sexuality is only 4 or 5 labels, instead of being more complex, and I feel like that would be a problem when I actually do come out,( which is a long time from now.)
Yeah from personal experience porn definitely doesn't signify your sexuality. Fantasizing about other people however does, the difference between a fantasy and porn is that porn has the visual element that a fantasy just replicates. When you see people having sex ( whatever the gender) you can often be aroused when, like you said, you would never have sex with the genders involved. Based on your story I would say there's something there, the next step would be to do some soul searching and think about if you could see yourself in a relationship with a guy. But the biggest piece of advice I can give to you is don't be afraid of discovering who you are because of your environment or upbringing. You will be a lot happier in the long run when you are secure in who you are!
I totally get you on this. I identify myself as gay, even though I'm still working out the finer details about my sexuality, because I feel it is the closest thing to what I am right now. It's easier for me to say I'm gay to people rather than to confuse them and myself by saying I think I am confused about my sexuality. It provides a sense of clarity for me.
I feel some amount of confusion stems from internalization, given that we are from close minded backgrounds! The whole thing about thinking a girl is pretty when you know she has a crush on you, could be something that has rubbed off from the heteronormative world, coz ultimately you have been told that girls like guys n if a pretty girl likes a guy, then you must be amazing! So the happiness and the whole she seems pretty could stem from that , unless you have sexual feelings I'd not count it to be a part of your sexuality! ---------- Post added 12th Dec 2015 at 11:28 PM ---------- And not to encourage pornography or its use in determining your sexuality! Do remember that in straight porn a guy still is present in the picture! So it doesn't mean you have attraction for woman if you like it !
