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Help!! Ayuda!!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sabs, Dec 6, 2015.

  1. Sabs

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    Hi guys!

    I will go straight to the point. I am confused!!! :confused: I had a boyfriend I was very in love with, but still managed to think of other women. I have experienced few snogs with some girls but never decided to go further. Since we broke up ( 2 years ago) I haven't been in any relationship, but I noticed that now I’m not physically attracted to men, but I do feel aroused by women’s bodies. And I don't know what to do.... all my friends are straight and they wouldn't understand me if I told them whats bugging me. They would say I'm just curious but I know it's not just that. How can I be sure I'm gay? How did u find out u were atracted to the same sex? Im not sure what to do, what next step should be... :help: :icon_wink
     
  2. questions4ever

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    You sound like your probably bisexual. I would look into a few umbrella terms: bisexual, pansexual, physical, sexual, and romantic attraction. Hope this helps some!
     
  3. lastking

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    I agree with quetions4ever. Sexuality and attraction can consist of many components.

    If you're aroused by the female body, you're most likely sexually and physically attracted to women. If you're attracted to someone not in a sexual way, but rather wanting to go on dates or be in a relationship, that's romantic attraction, which might be what you're experiencing with guys.

    I've had crushes on girls growing up but mostly romantic. I don't get aroused by the female body and not really interested in sex with them. I don't think sexuality is always black and white.
     
    #3 lastking, Dec 6, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2015
  4. DemiLiHue

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    Well, your sexual orientation doesn't have to be the same as you romantic attraction! How about... Homosexual Heteroromantic? That sounds like what you described
     
  5. I'm_Danni_x

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    Maybe Biromantic homosexual could work as a label.
     
  6. taken

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    I too was recently in a similar situation as you. Thought I might can offer some insight on what I experienced. At the age of 20 I was engaged and set to get married and had all these plans as to how my life was going to work out. But deep down inside, I didn't want to marry this guy. He eventually called it off, though I was upset I was also relieved. It took me a while to even think about dating again. A co-worker set me up with a friend of theirs (guy) and we dated for a while but I just lost interest after a few months and was never interested in having a sexual relationship with him. So we broke up and remained friends. Time went on and I began drinking, going to bars, and kinda hit the experimental phase. Luckily, I had moved away from my family and didn't really have anyone to "answer to." I went to the bar with some friends and had one particular friend that I would always end up making out with and just blaming it on the alcohol. We would usually go back to her house and end up cuddling through the night. Never did anything more than that. Well, this friend moved and I found another friend that we did the same thing. This really confirmed that I was more interested in women more than men and that the sexual attraction was there as well. I live in a very conservative area so I wasn't sure how to go about the lesbian dating life, so I turned to the internet. I know it can be sketchy, but I used dating websites to find other females and make connections. I went out on a few dates with some girls and talked to several. I found out that I am quite picky in my selection with females. Finally, I found my girlfriend now and we are happier than ever. She was out and has been out for a long time. I was still in the closet except for 1 friend who i talked to because she is a lesbian as well and gave me some advice.
    My advice would be to explore things before you start telling people about your feelings. I don't know that I would recommend doing it the way I did (alcohol induced) but try to find some people you can hang out with and maybe meet some girls that you can really connect with. If you find a girl that you are attracted to, pursue something with her and explore your feelings. I would make it clear from the beginning, your situation and that you're questioning your orientation and you would like to keep it discrete at this moment. Make sure that she respects that. If you feel like the relationship has potential to go somewhere or you get more certain about your feelings toward women then you can potentially discuss this with your closest friends.
    After being with my girlfriend for over a year, I finally told my parents, and to me it was easier to do because I had her. She supported me through it, but also my parents could see that I had been committed to someone for this long and that it's not just an experimenting phase. Be comfortable and certain about yourself before you feel like you have to tell other people!
    Take some time and don't rush things. Don't rush relationships, and don't rush yourself to come out to your friends and family. It's a long hard process, but if you are confident and comfortable with yourself it will make it much easier.
    I hope this helps. Feel free to chat if you would like.
     
  7. Sabs

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    Pansexual? I dont even know what it means i will look up! So many things to learn... Thank you guys for advice! I really appreciate.

    ---------- Post added 17th Dec 2015 at 02:08 AM ----------

    Hi taken! Thank you, I knew I could find someone who experienced similar situation! I really feel like I need to chat to you! I will msg you soon if that's OK! Thanks again!