Hi, please, please help me. I am 18 years old. Okay, I’m going to share some pretty personal stuff here – this is how badly I need help. I am so confused, and I tried talking to my therapist but she was of no use. So here goes: When I was really young, maybe 10, I looked up the phrase “boob pics.” Yeah. I didn’t know I was turned on, I just liked the way I felt. I did this over and over again, until my dad caught me and I said I just wanted to know what I would look like when I grew up… Ugh. So I’ve always been really turned on by women’s bodies. In fact, I’ve never really been that turned on by men. I mean, I go through phases occasionally, but I have always mainly masturbated to naked women or especially women being touched by men – what the hell does that mean? I really like it when guys touch me, but I’m not turned on by their bodies really at all. Dicks are kind of gross, but at the same time, vaginas aren’t the best either. I LOVE boobs though. The thing is, I’ve always been emotionally attracted to guys; being with guys excites me. In fact, I think I am going to lose my virginity tomorrow night to this guy I really like. I find guys cute and hot, but I can never get off sexually to them. I am able to flirt sometimes with guys (although I am really awkward), and I definitely have crushes. But I’m worried I will never be able to fully be with a guy sexually because the only way I get fully turned on is by women. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but any help/advice would be much appreciated. I would be happy to answer questions if more information is needed. Please contact me ASAP!! I don’t know what to do
I guess you are bordering between bisexual/Lesbian. Well, if you're going to lose your virginity with a guy tomorrow then check it for yourself if you will feel sated body and soul. If not, try the boobs.
You said you're gonna lose your virginity tomorrow, so try it with an open mind, leave all preconcieved thoughts of how it would be and go at it. If you feel sated and enjoy it, tada! If not as someone said earlier, go for the boobs.
I agree with the above posters. If you have a chance to sleep with a guy, maybe take it, and see if you like it. If you don't, maybe you're just not into guys sexually, in which case you might have to consider whether future relationships with men is worth it. What about crushes on women? Have you ever had any?
From the sounds of it you might be bisexual or a lesbian. I can relate to a few things you've said. My side thingy says I'm pansexual but before I knew what that was, I came out as bisexual. The first thing that I noticed is that, like me, you felt attraction at a younger age to women's bodies and now you've identified it as attraction. Just like you, I didn't really like vaginas. But once I became more comfortable with my girlfriend and we had sex, my opinions on them started to change (and not only with the thoughts of her but of other women too). Vaginas grew on me lol. I don't know if it'll be the same for you but it could be the case. So basically just keep an open mind and have fun if you end up having sex with a girl. Okay. I want you to think about how good it feels for a guy to touch you. Now imagine if it was a woman touching you. Just kind of think about the differences between those two kinds of situations. As far as the romantic attraction to men, this is where I think we might also have similar experiences. When I realized that I was attracted to women's bodies I was really confused because I never really considered dating a woman. I just couldn't wrap my brain around it and I didn't really want to date a woman. But I knew I wanted to date men. After a lot of looking into myself and watching myself change into the person I am now, I've realized that a lot of why I wasn't drawn to the idea of dating a woman is because I spent my whole life thinking I would have a husband. I had never even heard of gay people for most of my life. So I never saw myself dating a girl. Because I am bisexual, I think it was easier for me to let my feelings for women slip under the radar than it would be for a lesbian. I liked guys, I felt attraction towards them, so it was easy enough to think "oh okay. I like guys, so I must just like guys". Maybe just think about that and ask yourself questions. Congrats on the possible plans for sex with the guy you really like! I say go for it. Go have a fun time. Take things slow if you need to. Communicate with him. See how much you enjoy it. Maybe you'll realize you really like it. Maybe you'll realize it's just not your thing. Maybe you'll come out of it even more confused than you are now lol. No matter what happens, it's all good. You don't have to have everything figured out in one second. My biggest piece of advice, for after you have some good fun with that guy, is to do some self reflecting. And if you think that maybe trying to kiss a girl or have sex with a girl might help you figure things out, go for it. If you don't want to do that, don't. There's no right or wrong answer on how to figure things out. I'm subscribed to your thread now so I'll check up on it soon to see if you've posted more on how things are going Best wishes, Holly
I can relate to what you said. I thought I was a lesbian until a few weeks ago and I though that I would never have sex with a guy because I'm not that attracted to men's bodies. However, I developed feelings for this guy and, although I feel more physically attracted to girls, I'm so emotionally attached to this guy that I realised that I actually like having sex with him. I've never had experiences with a girl but, just like you, I'm attracted to women's bodies (boobs are great ) and I would be fine dating a girl, if I fell in love with one, so I guess I'm sort of bisexual.
