Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a myth?

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

That sounds rather strange to me... But maybe there are people like that.

In a way I guess my current situation is the same. I don't entertain very much interest in women most of the time, but I identify as bisexual because I think I'm like a Kinsey 1.5 or something, because there is a bit of lesbianism in me somewhere, mostly sexually - I sometimes find girls attractive. But I don't think I would want to date a girl. Maybe if I would I'd have to leave because I was attracted to her only briefly - in that case I would kind of match your description, at least in a way? But I don't do it the other way around, I think, nor do I do it often, so I don't fully match it, I guess.
All I can say is I've learnt that sexuality is very complicated and fluid.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

Interesting.

As a woman newly realizing she's "other than straight" I bought like 50 books on the subject for women. Many of the books have "perfect endings" where the women were married or with men, then met a woman and lived happily ever after.

(But I can't imagine that always happens, and I found some stories online where the woman fell out of love and then went back to dating men, like it was all because of the person and not the gender. This is all about Sexual Fluidity by Lisa M. Diamond, and might be more for females than males? Although I think it could apply to males. )

I dont know the answer to your q. Am I wanting a woman now because I have had a man for 10+ years and I'm sick of men physically/emotionally and now I want a woman physically/emotionally? Am I destined to go back and forth every few years from a man to a woman and back again for the rest of my life? The thought of that makes me miserable. I wanted to love one life partner forever but that's all shot to hell.

It makes me want to give up on monogamy altogether and be poly but that thought makes me miserable too. Not judging poly people but I've been there done that and for me it's thrilling sexually but emotionally draining.

Sorry for rambling on. But I am very curious and hope that others post here.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

It is called the 'bi- cycle'. From what I have read, it happens pretty often to bisexual people. May I aks- why do you ask? Is this something you struggle with?

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

I've only had intimate connections or been sexual with someone in a long term relationship. Like anyone else I notice someone else is attractive. I've never acted beyond that. Haven't felt a switch of not interested in the sex I was with or that it affected the relationship. The mind connection and person means everything to me.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

I am bisexual, and although I do experience regular shifts in the emphasis of my fantasy life, I don't find that I loose so much interest in a partner that it would end a relationship.

For example, I'm currently with a queer woman, but sometimes I have what I call "gay" days. Those days, I might be fantasizing more about men, and/or feel more flamboyant/flaming. However, I don't find that I loose physical & sexual attraction to my partner, but what I want to do with her sexually may change a bit.

For example, I might be less interested in cunnilingus, and more interested in vaginal or anal sex or her performing fellatio on me - or I might be more interested in her topping me in a variety of ways. Or, we might dirty talk about mmf three way fantasies we have. She's really quite wonderful that way.

I guess I'm lucky in that my partner is herself a bit gender queer, and we are attracted to both the masculine and feminine attributes in each other. So we are able to incorporate our shifting queer sexual fantasies into our sex life.

However, no matter my mood, I always find that she turns me on, in part because she too I so far queer. I'm a VERY lucky guy. Lol

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

Arrghhh. Stupid autocorrect. Second to last sentence should read:

However, no matter my mood, I always find that she turns me on, in part because she too, is so queer.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

Yeah, I think there a shifts in emphasis. But even though I'm thinking mostly about women at the moment, that certainly does not mean I am not seeing and appreciating super hot dudes when they appear. And I'm pretty sure if one of them were to approach me and we got to know each other I wouldn't be like "nah, mate, I'm on the wrong part of my bi-cycle right now. If only you were a girl!" hahaha.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

No, I am a always bisexual, I always find men attractive, I always find women attractive.

When I first started coming out, I guess, I was focused very heavily in women, but other than that, it's always both for me.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

Mine's fairly consistent but I've had periods where I'm generally more attracted to one gender versus the other. And I should note that I'm usually more attracted to men.

 

Re: Bisexuals: does your orientation really 'flip' like others think, or is that a my

I definitely go through periods of being more into guys than usual, and then back to my usual preference for girls, but I'm never completely uninterested in any gender. I can't imagine that ever being a reason to leave a partner. I think there's usually something else wrong in the relationship combined with less attraction that causes it to end.