Lesbians identifying as gay on a dating website?

re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

Good question. I don't know.
Maybe it's because in so much of the same sex marriage debate over the last decade, same sex marriage was called "gay marriage" by the mainstream media, thus generalizing the term "gay" for all same-sex attracted people, particularly those just coming of age?

I mean, did you ever hear anyone talk about "lesbian marriage"?
Not so much.

 

re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

It's because they give you three options: "Straight, Gay, Bisexual." In order to choose "Lesbian," you actually have to click the "More Options" button. People may not see that or may just not bother. I'm on there. I'm 30. And I am identified as "Gay Woman." That's the reason. I just saw it, and chose it.

 

Re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

Dang. That's messed up. That site used to include "lesbian" as a default option.
We should request that they change that!!

 

Re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

General question that I'm throwing out to you all- do you guys feel a big difference between the terms gay and lesbian? I feel like gay is like homosexual, it covers both men and women's orientations, lesbian is specific.

I feel like lesbian/ gay are interchangeable in describing a woman.

I'm bi, but I sometimes call myself "semi-gay"/"semi-lesbian". To me it's not much different.

 

Re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

yep i thought in english gay covers everything, while in other languages such as spanish gay is only for men. For example in tv shows such as OITNB the girls call themselves gay all the time.

I dont like the word lesbian at all, i dont know if its how it sounds, concepts I relate to it subconsciously or the fact that its only for women. Im not trans but im not 100% cis at all and there are some words only for female that do make me feel unconfortable when applied to me.Maybe those girls who dont like lesbian feel the same about it.

I like gay better. I wish I could use it in my own language

 

Not all of us women loving women are lesbians.

 

I always kinda thought gay just meant someone attracted to their own gender. I didn't know it just guys. This is kinda warping my perception of the universe right now.

 

For me, "gay" is sort of a universal, umbrella term? Basically describing being queer, or "not straight." Ive had pansexual/poly/bi friends call themselves gay because its easier, and more people know what it means. I guess it could depend on preference as well, but personally gay pretty much equals non straight. I dont prefer gay over lesbian, I just find it easier to use?

 

i prefer & use gay. i'm not a citizen of the isle of lesbos. i am however happy to be a lover of women. ; )

 

Re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

I agree with you entirely, jedi. The two words should be interchangeable for a woman (the meanings certainly are...I was even puzzled by the OP question).

But I do know some gay women dislike the word "lesbian" for whatever reason. I also know that some lesbians (and homosexual males) dislike the word "gay". So I do think people should be able to pick.

If lesbian used to be an option on some dating site and now is not, one hypothesis would be that some number of men chose "lesbian" for their descriptor...for a variety of reasons...and it pissed off a lot of women, who then asked that this be changed. The obvious solution would be to have one set of options for guys and another set of options for women...but society seems to be reaching its limit of people who know how to engage in "complicated" logic like that.

 

Re: Lesbians identifying as gay on *******?

Honestly, having used that particular dating website, I think they originally had it setup with different options for men and women. While very GLB friendly, it was predicated on a binary gender coding.

However, they started getting complaints from trans/non-binary/non-gender conforming folks, who requested that they allow more options.

In response, they re-engineered the site so that there is an optional extended set of gender and sexuality descriptors.

Generally, I think its a positive thing, but it probably does lead to increased gender and sexuality chaos, including straight men abusing the label "lesbian", which I'm not sure was possible before.

 

I guess it's like the difference between Bi and Pan.

Gay = Homosexual / Lesbian = Female and Homosexual (more specific)

Bi = Likes more than one gender / Pan = Likes all genders (more specific)

Either is fine, it's a matter of choice.

 

I've always considered lesbian to just be a more specific sort of term.

 

I don't like the term lesbian because of the images is brings up for me. I either think of super butch and radical lesbians or bad porn. Since I'm more feminine looking I feel like calling myself a lesbian brings up images of "lesbian" porn. Since I hate being sexualized I prefer other labels. On that website I just identify as queer.

 

"Gay" has one syllable. "Lesbian" has three syllables. That is why "gay" is less intimidating for me to say. The first two times I came out, I used "lesbian" to be extra clear that I wasn't coming out as a gay guy, in case there was any confusion. I overthink everything when I'm nervous.

 

The whole "gay vs lesbian" thing is ridiculous. If you're a lesbian, you're gay, but not the other way around. Why do women need a different title? There's no difference.

 

It is very helpful when your gender is ambiguous.

 

personally I hate to word lesbian being that is an adjective and you are A lesbian vs. gay which is a noun so therefore I am gay not I am a gay like I am one of those also lesbian just almost feels out dated to me as the mean old PE teacher if that makes any sense lesbian just doesn't feel comfortable to me it is also kind of a mouthful to say lesbian that is all I got but I also sort of agree with the first comment