I'm 18 and I ID as a lesbian currently. However, in the past, I identified as bi. I haven't had any real relationships since I was in eighth grade. It was with a guy and I definitely had real feelings for him, like I felt connected to him, but I didn't like kissing or any other stuff we did together. But the relationship wasn't healthy, so I feel like that's definitely a factor. I've kissed girls, but I never really had feelings for them, so I didn't get that whole "fireworks" thing. But even with the guy I really liked, I never had "fireworks." I know 100% that I am attracted to women--I've even been in love with a woman--but I can't figure out if I'm gay or bi. Actually, what prompted this was seeing an actor on television. I never get crushes on guys or anything--not since I was a kid and didn't even have a sex drive yet--but this actor is very attractive. The thing is that I don't know if I'm emotionally attracted to men. I don't get crushes on them, and I get crushes on women. But to be fair, I don't know a lot of men. And I picture myself having relationships with women. I think I feel like with men it could never really be real. Also, I think dicks are really gross. Do bi women feel this way? I definitely don't think genitals in general are gross. And I don't want to give TMI, but I've masturbated thinking about men before and it doesn't even compare to how it feels to masturbate about women. So I guess I basically have my answer. But I guess I just want to know if there are any other lesbians who feel attracted to, like, one guy. The thing for me is that I don't want to ignore a part of myself, but I also don't want to be near a dick, ever. I'm afraid I'm in denial, but I really don't want a boyfriend.
Well, if you don't want to be near a dick, ever, then you can pretty much rule out being bisexual. With this level of certainty, I'm confused about why you are confused.
If you cannot see yourself with a guy, dont crush on guys, do not particularly enjoy masturbating to the thought of guys and do not want to have sex with a guy because of his penis, then you are most likely gay not bi. I am bi and although my crushes for girls are stronger, I have no big problems with either type of genitals and I feel comparable pleasure masturbating fantasising about either gender. Being able to spot when a male actor is attractive doesn't mean you are sexually attracted to him if you are still against the idea of being near his penis or being a relationship with him. And being 100% in love with a girl is both abritary and will probably happen to you later. You seem more in denail than confused.
I came out as a lesbian a few months ago because I didn't feel physically nor sexually attracted to guys, while I felt attraction toward girls. However, now I'm dating a guy because I developed feelings for him and, although I didn't feel sexually attracted to him (and that's what made me doubt the most) I just had the greatest emotional connection to him, and I just couldn't stay away from him. In the end, I found out that sex with a guy doesn't gross me out as I thought. Still, I mostly don't feel physically attracted to guys; I can be with one only if I have a deep emotional connection to him. About girls, on the other hand, I can say that I'm physically and sexually attracted to them, but I haven't fallen for one yet. Long story short, I think I'm bi but I'm not sure either. I'd suggest you go with the flow and see who you develop a deep emotional connection to.
It may be pertinent to point out that there is a difference between sexual attraction from physical attraction. I am physically attracted to men, but could easily see myself being romantically involved with a women. However, as my preferences begin settle, I realize that I really just love having deep+profound+intimate (non-sexual) relationships with women. At the same time, i wanna get in bed with men!
What do you think is the difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction? I understand the difference between emotional/romantic attraction and sexual attraction, but I typically lump physical and sexual attraction together.
