So I have anxiety and I've had this problem for years, once I have a thought in my head, I obsess over it until it's resolved and I can't resolve this when I'm still so confused. I like men. I find men attractive. Men are the ones that make my heart beat out of my chest and butterflies flutter in my stomach. I envision my first time having sex, with a guy. I'm attracted to men in romantic and sexual ways. However, I do get turned on by the naked female body a lot. When I imagine having sexual intercourse with a girl, I can't even picture it but still porn turns me on and naked images turn me on so I feel like that could make me bi? But I really have no interest to be with a girl like I've thought of experimenting but I don't even wanna have anything going on with a girl like that so what could this mean?? Does this make me bicurious? Open minded? What?
The thing with labels is, they can be interpreted in different ways. I would say you are either bi-curious or just open minded. To be bisexual you have to have a certain feeling towards women, in my opinion. Though you are saying you wouldn't want to be with a girl so it doesn't make you bi. These are just my thoughts though.
Give yourself some time. I went through a process of being like "I would try kissing a girl" to "I would try having sex with a girl but I don't wanna do anything" to "I would do stuff with my hands but I don't want my mouth down there" to "I would try it all" to "who am I kidding, I'm thinking about it so much, I bloody well want it all... But I don't want the girl to become my girlfriend" to " I wouldn't mind being in a relationship to this girl" to "okay I'm bi I can have relationships with girls" to "goddamit I want this girl to be mine and go off into the sunset with me. I am totally happy to have a girlfriend". That could happen to you or you could continue to feel the same way and just be a more open minded person who will ultimately end up in a striaght relationship. One thing I must say is porn is not an indicator of sexuality, so if that is the main thing bothering you, then you shouldn't worry about it too much. And I totally get what you.mean about overly obsessing about this stuff , I do that too and coming on this forum is a great step to dealing with that. Just being able to discuss your feelings brings a lot of relief I find. I remember I was feeling so confused a few months ago that I started crying while listening to Cool for the Summer and that's when I decided to seek out this forum cos I knew I needed support. Since joining I got much less worked up about it and slowly came to understand myself so it can only get better for you too.
Errr... I guess I'm at the 5th stage there. I am slightly concerned the more I see this girl the more likely I'm going to end up losing interest in boys. I am already wondering about if I get a boyfriend again, is the bedroom stuff just going to feel lame in comparison?
Your disinterest with experimenting with another woman may come from a prejudice against same-sex couples/relationships. For me, I believed that I was completely comfortable with anyone's sexual preference - unless it was my own. For me, the realization that I am attracted to me (and actually want to have sex with men) is something that I have to confront and work-through on a daily basis. I do not want to give you the impression that you are in denial about this, but it may be worthwhile to investigate the reasons why you don't want to experiment. Just try to be brutally honest with yourself. It took me 27 years to get brutally honest with myself... so no rush
