Speaking of this forum, I have a funny story to share about my sister. She is clearly into girls...... but she insists that she is "completely straight". Anyways, she slept with another woman...... and liked it. She has commented about how beautiful and sexy this woman was, and how she really enjoyed the experience. However, she says that she is still "completely straight", because "all girls do that". She even went out on an actual date with a woman she met over the internet even though she is married..... but then she said she felt 'weird' because she felt like everyone was staring at them in the restaurant. Furthermore, she said she checks out girls...... and that she's into girls with long, flowing hair and a beautiful face. She really sounded quite into them, but she insists that she is "completely straight" and that "all girls want to sleep with other girls, even if they don't admit it". I wouldn't dare tell her anything about my sexuality, because she ironically makes fun of gay people all the time and insists that she couldn't be anything other than completely straight. She has even said that "gay people are gross" and she "doesn't believe in gay marriage", but she has admitted to being into other women. She admits being into girls sexually, but she feels that she is straight because all girls like other girls that way...... since "all women are like that". When she says these things to me, I pretend to play along. I just agree with her on the absurd things she says about how "all girls want to sleep with other girls, even if they're straight" and that "all girls do that". When she tells people these things, people usually tell her that she is probably bisexual..... but she is clearly convinced otherwise and denies it, sometimes she gets offended at people for saying this.... so everyone just kind of plays along with the denial.
Yeah....no. All girls definitely do NOT do that. You are right about the denial. Sounds like there is a generous scoop of internalized homophobia in there as well.
As an individual who has just broken through my own denial, I can say that I really relate to your sister's actions+beliefs. Well, mine weren't as obvious as your sister's, but it was pretty obvious to everyone that I wasn't exclusively a straight man. Anyway - let me try to describe how denial worked for me. For the past 27 years, I have lived and acted as any 'normal' heterosexual man. That was what my mind told me. I have had people ask me if I were gay, and I have done many things in my past that could easily be as 'homosexual' behavior (whatever the fuck that means). Annnnnyway, my brain is so strong and my denial so deep that I NEVER ONCE AT ANY MOMENT THOUGHT THAT I WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN STRAIGHT. RAWRRRRR. I dunno if that come off as I intended, but I was in such deep denial that nothing you could ever say would have changed my mind. I was straight and that was it. No question. Over the course of the past two years I have been done some extensive self-discover and experimentation, and have only recently come to terms with the fact that I am gay. This realization was sudden, profound, and ultimately awesome. However - I do realize that I have internalized many of society's negative stereotypes about people who don't fall into traditional sexual orientations, and that I am still learning how to cope with MY OWN biased mindset. Super weirrrrrrrd! All in all, your sister may never 'realize' or 'accept' aspects of herself that don't fall neatly into the heterosexual paradigm. The people around me just continued to love me, even when I was acting kinda strange. Because of them, my 'realization' was easier, and I am really grateful for all those around me that continued to treat me with love+respect.
