Did anyone experience this? I always get really close to being comfortable with who I am but then manage to talk myself out if it... ik I enjoy girls and have feelings for them and are attracted to them but I have nvr had a relationship with one therefor whenever I finally stick with a title I start to doubt myself. My biggest fear is coming out as gay then realizing I am actually straight or bi ik this fear unrational but I cant help but have it. For some reason I feel that it is necessary to have been in a relationship with a girl or kissed one first so I could "verify" my feelings (ik kind of BS). sometimes I feel as if I could of just made this all up to myself and it isn't even real almost as if I just got so far into looking, that I convinced myself I was gay or "made" myself gay:eusa_doh: even though I can date back many specific things in my childhood that were clearly signs. you may be thinking "why don't you just come out as bi then?" and this is another unrational thought I always have I just really hate the thought of being bi because I feel as if there is 10x the stigma towards it and that people wont think it is real or something which I also think is dumb but for some reason that is just what I have convinced myself you also may ask "why don't you just wait till you have the opportunity to kiss a girl" as for that I say honestly I am just so ready to be out I have avoided talking to a friend bc that is the friend I decided I was going to come out to first I just feel as if I am going to burst but I cant bring myself to actually doing it! Help! Sorry this was so long!
I feel/felt the samw way about being trans.. And then I start to doubt myself even more, because I started doubting mysel in the first place.. -.- Honestly? Just go for it and talk to that friend. I told my friends without being sure of it and their reaction was really positive I don't think they would mind if you decided you're not a lesbian afterall (although I don't think that's going to happen)
Literally I feel the exact same way- you're not alone!! Remember that sexuality IS fluid, don't feel obliged to put a label on what you feel. (I should really take my own advice) It's totally understandable to feel that way, and my best response to being scared that you're not necessarily gay? I feel like society has sort of influenced that. They tell us that sexuality has to stay the same as long as you live (as an amazing person recently told me). If you're uncertain, but want to come out, then you can come out as "non straight" or questioning, and then later when you feel more confident in yourself, tell them. But remember, labels aren't necessary. Do what makes YOU happy. It's also perfectly okay to feel the need to reaffirm your sexuality by "experimenting" (for lack of better phrasing.) I feel that way too! There's no problem with that whatsoever as long as you're honest. But really, the best advice I can give you is to be yourself!! Don't feel pressured to get everything figured out right now.
Hello Alli! First off, love the avi. Secondly, I also have those moments, where I question whether or not I'm actually bi. It usually happens when the cycle is leaning more toward women, and I'm like "All I can think about is girls. Am I actually?" And then like, a week later I'm all like "Daaaaaamn lookit dat boy!" Sexuality is an ever-changing, fluid pain in the ass. Thirdly, labels are crap. We create them to put others at ease. If you come out as gay and then a little while later realize you're actually bi, there is no paperwork to fill out. You just change what you identify as, and everyone else can stuff it! On being bisexual: Yes, there is more stigma and phobia related to being bi as opposed to coming out as gay. This is because as a bisexual, there are people in both the LGBT and straight community that think we're greedy/sluts/don't actually know/are clinging to being straight. It's not always easy, but if that's who you are, that's who you are. Dunno if any of that helped or not... Stay strong! You're a beautiful human being!
Yes I feel the same way... But I must say that my "phase" where I'm ok with my label (bi) are getting longer and I talk myself out of it only 2-3 times a year yet. I think it's because I'm more and more confortable with it. But still won't be sure until I kiss or date a girl too and I think I could come out only if I have or had a girlfriend..otherwise I won't have the courage because I'm not sure sure !
I can relate to this as well. Fooled around with a male friend when I was a kid, but have never so much as kissed a guy, or anything, since. But then I also remember how much I adored my male best friend when I was 16. Also, I could pinpoint a slew of male celebs I find attractive, yet am hard pressed to pinpoint any females I think of like that. I'm kind of taking the stance that while there is no "concrete proof".........there's sure as heck enough circumstantial evidence to say I'm really not straight.
I know how you feel. Being male and figuring out being lesbian (only about a month ago, though) has been overall very comforting and eye-opening to me, but as soon as I feel like I am completely comfortable with who I am, I keep telling myself "but guys can't be lesbian", which sends me into a whole new round of questioning my gender identity, which I am also comfortable with. Labels and social norms can be a pain in the ass. I feel like with time these thought spirals will go away... Hope I could help! (&&&)
Hey @silent simphony Please don't be offended by this, I don't mean this in a harsh way at all I just don't quite understand, how can boys be lesbian? I'm not saying it is not possible or anything, I just haven't heard of it yet and maybe you could explain how you feel?
@NotKnowing It's fine, it even took my (very accepting and supportive) parents a couple of hours to fully understand who I am. Short Version: I have had several crushes on girls before, haven't acted on them due to shyness and being uncomfortable with myself. I thought I would never be interested in an actual relationship until realizing I am a lesbian (only about a month ago). Now I feel like myself, I can socialize (and not be a complete shut-in). I have contemplated being a transwoman, but ultimately realized that I am more comfortable with being male. I feel an attachment to lesbian culture and community, and am wanting to be active in the LGBT community. Does this fully describe how I feel and came to this realization? No, not really. I am planning on providing more detail once I start my blog here. We will see how everything goes as time goes on... I am mainly here for support in how to be more social and active in the LGBT community without being overbearing and moving too quickly. People have some well-held beliefs, and I don't want to turn people away because they don't or can't understand me or feel like I am an intrusion.
@silent_symphony: OK, now I'm confused. I hope you won't mind me asking this: So you say you are sexually interested in girls. Do you mean girls in general or lesbian girls in particular? You say you feel comfortable being male. Do you mean you feel you are mentally girl but you are not bothered that you have a male body? Or do you feel you are a man in a man's body?
@Euler Lesbian and Bisexual women, probably, but haven't even been a relationship, so I am taking that slowly. I have always felt like and have been comfortable as a boy, and am a man in a man's body.
