Hello, I just joined this site like yesterday... Well, not "like" yesterday. Actually yesterday! :O Anyway... I'm a lesbian. Always have been. When I was 5, I kept telling my aunts and uncles I wouldn't get married to a guy ever. When I was 11, I discovered the channel with the lesbian porn. When I was 12, I looked up dicks... Found some images of them on Google and went ugh, that's ugly. I've never had the desire to have a boyfriend... I had two male friends in high school that were really close to (and now that I'm looking back on it probably crushing on) me... I went on "dates" with one of them where we would just go for walks. He brought me flowers and was always really sweet... But I didn't want him to be my boyfriend, I just liked having someone to talk to about random daily things. I even told him I wanted to be touched by him in any way... (Dick move. Don't do that, folks. No matter how gay you are.) But yeah... That's me. I've always found ladies beautiful, but I've only chosen to accept myself after a long struggle and one very nasty anonymous handjob. I just couldn't do the straight thing. There was never any man that I could imagine spending my life with and sharing my bed with. I have a girlfriend who lives quite far away... We haven't seen each other in a while. Sexually, we sadly aren't compatible. I haven't had any lesbian sex before... I've had offerings to have anonymous relations, but I wanted it to matter when I did it and not just be some random person. And, the thing is... She did get me off a few times. I just never screamed during that simply because I wasn't experienced and felt a lot of pressure. She thinks that I'm "secretly" straight and just leading her on... But I'm really sure about this. I enjoy having sex with her no matter the difficulties. I love her, I think she's beautiful. How do I explain myself to her? I hate having to do this... I don't see being straight as something bad... I've just spent my teenage years desperately trying to be straight and it never worked. I know who I am. I just wish she understood it too.
Maybe you could just talk to her and explain everything you've just said here, tell her you're not secretly being straight and you do have proper feelings for her. Good luck
Hey welcome to EC. Why do you think she thinks you are straight and doesn't believe you? You say it is a long distance relationship, how often do you get to see each other? How do you usually communicate? Email, phone, Skype? When you say sex between you is difficult what do you mean? (You don't have to say if you don't want to).
Hello, thanks. She's older than me and all her previous girlfriends cheated on her with men... I guess she got burned. But I legit love her... I tried finding myself a "nice man", but that wasn't my cup of tea. We used to see each other for about 3 hours per day + we'd sleep together on Skype whenever possible. Now it's less because Christmas is a bit stressful, but we still talk a alot. It's difficult in the sense of... She likes doing certain things a lot. And I don't like being on the receiving end of that - and vice versa. I don't think our sex life is shitty, I just think we both need to try again and find a way to make it work for both. You know? I'm pretty sure I ain't confused and a "closet heterosexual" lol Oh, does talking to people make me a bad lesbian? For instance, I have male online and offline friends who I talk to on a regular basis... They're just friends to me, but I get awkward glances sometimes from lesbians when I mention I have male friends.
If people think you are a bad lesbian for having male friends that's their problem not yours and they probably aren't the kind of people you want to hang around with, sexuality has nothing to do with who you are friends with. Yeah I totally get where you are coming from, I think patience and time are going to be the key here, she has been burnt in the past and the people that burnt her probably told her they loved her and wouldn't do that but then they did so its difficult for her to get over that but she will in time, just keep being there for her and seeing her when you can. Christmas is busy for everyone so I am sure she understands. How long have you been together?
