I've opened up to you all in this forum and I appreciate the feedback from people here. It's been recently that I've opened up to people online more than real life about the sexual feelings I've had around close male friends. I've hidden that for a while but its been something I've overlooked for a while. I mean I considered myself "masculine." I haven't had sex with girls, I'm a slim muscular Latin guy. I just assumed that if I kept working out and took care of myself, I'd "find" the right girl. That hasn't happen yet. I've had the random crush or sexual fantasy of so-so girl and had sexual feelings towards and such. I haven't found the right girl but I haven't given up on liking women just yet, it's just taking a pause. I've taken a pause and looked at the hints of bi curious feelings I've had. As I've said here on other posts, I've had sexual feelings wrapped with platonic and emotional feelings towards close male friends since August of 2010. The sexual feeling had build up slowly and slowly then peaked from the Fall 2014 to Spring of 2015 when I was hanging out with my younger friend Travis. We were a bit affectionate and hugged a lot. We were close physically He and I told each other we loved each other. I brushed/ran my hand across his hair and he didn't object or complain. We didn't have sex, but the vibe at times felt like it could've gone there. And added to the equation, Travis was bi curious in high school but I've felt he could still have traces of some bi curious tendencies. Though, Travis has never been with a guy in a sexual way or had sex with a guy, he's been with girls. I know a guy here on this forum had theorized, that Travis and I could have had some sexual feelings towards each other. I mean, that's a possibility. We can't speak for him. I just know the sexual feelings I had towards close male friends, had peaked when I was around him. I don't consider myself gay, because I'm not turned on with every single male friend or guy I'm with. I mean Travis and I's mutual friend Robby wasn't a guy I had a fantasy over. Why? I assumed he didn't fit my "sketch" of a guys I've had some feelings towards. He's a good friend and we've gotten along okay, but I never had any feelings like that towards him. It's hard to determine if I'm bi sexual or bi curious or some flexible bi sexual guy. I'm not homosexual because I don't feel turned on with every guy I see around my college or anything, though, there is some specific sketch of specific guys I have some feelings towards. It's hard to explain. And I do like women as well. I mean, I've talk to my counselor about my sexuality issues and stuff. He does believe and argues, that sexuality is fluid. I know the whole kinsey scale has it's marker on this, but if I could label myself on the kinsey scale I'd say I'm a 2.75-3.01 range. It's hard to label myself as a bisexual because it's assuming I like guys at par with girls, but it's not really the case. I see myself as a borderline bi curious. Or I see myself a flexible bi curious guy. It's hard to make a good label. We can agree that sexuality shouldn't label us in two different boxes(straight) (not straight). I can admit that I have some bi curious feelings maybe it's borderline, I don't know. It's hard to say, but maybe you all can provide feedback.
