Hi internet, Just wanted your thoughts on a predicament I'm currently facing. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 23, we've been together for about two months. I'm a dominant top and he's versatile who prefers being submissive. The problem is our bedroom relations; he has told me after I noticed it, that he likes to "finish himself off" and that he can't climax if someone is doing something to him, i.e oral etc. The only thing he wants me to do when he's getting 'ready' is to kiss him. He has stopped me halfway through acts and has even said no to offers of oral on several occasions saying "maybe tomorrow". I don't detract from him saying no, sometimes people are not up to it and that's fine but sometimes I feel like he picks and chooses when HE wants to do things as opposed to it being mutual. I have expressed to him my concerns at the fact that I feel like I do not physically turn him on and that I cannot satisfy him. This is the first time I've encountered this in the bedroom as I am someone who is satisfied when my partner has been taken care of. To know that I do not have that effect on him and that I won't in the future is very unnerving and makes me uncomfortable. He has told me to stop worrying and that it's him, not me. I get that (somewhat) but it does not bode well for me to know I can never satisfy my partner. I have never questioned my sexual prowess up until now. He tells me that he is satisfied but my problem is that the words are not reflective of the situation in the bedroom; how can he be satisfied if he has to always finish himself off? He said that he gets off on being submissive and knowing that he's pleased me but I get off knowing that I'm dominant and I took care of my partner. And when he does stop me and finish himself off, it puts me off and makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't want to ruin what could be a great relationship all because of my insecurities or because I have this issue with wanting to satisfy my partner and I certainly do not want it manifesting itself in the relationship. I also do not want to ask him to change because it's unfair and he's not doing anything wrong if he obviously feels like he can't finish by someone else's hand - it's just different. I can't help but feel we are sexually incompatible and I worry how much of an impact this will have on the relationship.
