Hey everyone. I've joined just because I wanted to chat to be honest- I don't really have friends online and I'm not feeling comfortable with the idea of talking to my close friends about this. I've been out as bi for about three years to my friends, a year and a half to family. I've always sort of questioned my sexuality, and came out to my friends when I had discovered I was definitely attracted to women, and to my family when my long term relationship with my ex girlfriend was discovered. This time last year my ex cheated on me- she was literally late for meeting me to swap presents on Christmas eve because she had spent the night at her now boyfriends. I was heartbroken when I found out, shocked, but I don't feel like I had that end of relationship sadness? I never had a good cry about it or talked to my friends or family about it, but at the same time I didn't feel okay on the inside about it. I don't know if maybe this time of year again is just messing with my head... About a fortnight after I dumped her, which really looking back isnt enough time after a long term relationship to be out looking for new people, my friends got into the whole 'lets go out lets get yo ****** lets find you someone else' thing... I signed up for ****** and dattch and went out with my friends. I was having a good time- I was only really looking to meet girls. One night I was sad, a girl had stood me up, all my friend were out with me and seemed to be in couples, and I made out with my male best friend... It was fun at first. He;s a lovely person and I have loved getting to know him. He's incredibly sweet and kind to me. I feel a romantic connection with him. The issue is sex. I'm sorry if I'm being TMI I was a """virgin""" before I met him, and I thought I would get more "into it" as time went on, but I'm feeling it less now than ever. I never had this issue with any woman I've been with. When I have sex with him I don't go in for PIV and I think of women.... I'm avoiding sex at all cost and he doesn't seem to mind this but I feel deeply uncomfortable in my mind knowing that this has never been an issue before. I still feel sexually attracted to women, but in life I can never really remember feeling that way towards men. I am very unsure about my sexuality. I have a romantic attraction to this man, I adore him, but I really don't want to have sex with him. I don't know why I've been identifying as bi for so long when I'm not sure. I'm not sure about my relationship. I'm worried that I'm actually a lesbian who's made some kind of ridiculous mistake... I don't want to break up with him on a feeling of 'something on my end is off' when I could just be being daft. I care about him so much. I don't want to hurt him. He's my best friend and all of our friends are mutual friends and I don't want to lose him as a friend or any of the rest of them, I wish I had never kissed him. I don't know if I should talk to him or what I should say. I don't know if I should break up with him when I still have so many feelings for him and our relationship seems so perfect except for the sex thing. I don't think I want to break up? I cry when I think about all of this but I've really had trouble with it the last few months and can't stop thinking about it. I wish I knew what I should do next :help:
Hey! I can kinda relate to how you're feeling, as I can feel really romantically attracted to guys but sexually only to girls Keep in mind that this isn't only black or white, and even if this sounds strange to you, you can have different romantic and sexual orientations. It's usually something like "biromantic heterosexual" or "aromantic pansexual" (something not... mutually exclusive, if you can put it like that), but it can be any combination you can come up with! You should talk with him about how you feel, if you think he can understand it. I don't think you should break up without trying to find a solution. Maybe threesomes? I don't really know about that, sorry. But I hope this helped even if it's a tiny bit ^^
I think I'll talk him about it the next time having sex comes up, which probably won't be until new year as he's travelled back home for Christmas.. I've read about sexual and romantic orientations not matching before, my flatmate is actually asexual and I read up about it when she told me! I guess that would probably make me a biromantic homosexual..? I think hopefully I can talk to him.. we can try going without sex for a bit- he wouldn't ask me to do it if he knew i was uncomfortable, but he loves me and I dont think no sex would make him want to break up with me. I guess I'll have to take it a day at a time and see how I feel and maybe I'll manage to come to a conclusion. I just feel really lonely right now and like I have no one to talk to. My mums a bit weird about my orientation and seemed happy when i switched from a girlfriend to a boyfriend, and all my close friends are also his! :/
