I honestly am confused with what I am. Is my absence of sexual urges but attraction to any gender (mostly fellow guys but there are some girls) still considered asexuality? Is sexuality just about sexual urges or does it also include attraction? I don't even know what attracts me to anyone. It seems so sporadic and out of the blue. I just know that my affection for specific people intensify without me noticing it. all I want is to be with him/her. Is this normal and I'm just problematizing what I am? (Sorry, I'm new to this forum which is why I'm not sure if I'm doing things right.)
If you feel attracted to very specific people you do indeed sound panromantic, if it gets more intense than that, actually almost sexual, you might also be demisexual. But if there's complete lack of sexual thoughts/intention asexual might be right. Sometimes labels do complicate things for you. But I personally feel like finding the right ones for me helped me accept myself and try and not punish myself for it everyday like I used to. I don't know your situation, but no matter what labels you wanna use or not. If you're just you, and feel however you do. It's ok, no one can or should take that from you.
It includes sexual attraction. Defining the line between sexual and romantic attraction is complicated and weird and sometimes unnecessary, so it's pretty much up to you to decide whether you feel more comfortable calling yourself asexual and whether you feel you have something in common with other asexual people. Here's the thing, it depends one what you mean by sexual urges and what you mean by attraction. An example: someone might question whether they are asexual because they don't have the sort of spontaneous urges that other people seemed to describe. However, that's not abnormal. It's called "responsive desire"; it's "when motivation to have sex begins AFTER sexual behavior has started". It's actually more common for women to have responsive desire than spontaneous desire, although a sizable minority of men have primarily responsive desire. So, it's important to try to distinguish between sexual desire/urges and attraction. The fact that you don't see people and go "wow, I'd like to have sex with that person" doesn't mean you don't experience sexual attraction. If you find them physically pleasing in a nonplatonic way, want to make out with them, feel standard attraction/desire/urges when you're kissing them, etc. that's plenty. So when you say you don't have sexual urges, do you mean you don't have them spontaneously or you never ever have them at all (in which case it's worth looking into whether there's a cause; e.g. anxiety, depression, etc.)? When you say attraction, do you mean crushes or physical attraction?
