Am I turning straight?

If you're afraid that you might be straight, in my experience in means you're not. I went through the same exact thing when coming to terms with my sexuality, and came to the realization that, the reason I was so afraid that I was really straight, was because I knew that's not who I really was. It actually scared me. And now I am out to pretty much everyone and am in a relationship with an awesome woman. I have never been happier, and am 100% certain now that I am NOT straight.

Good luck! Just keep discovering. I promise it'll all make sense once given the time.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean that you're "turning straight", you could be going through a non-sexual phase. If you are still in a relationship and physical interactions continue to bother you, I guess the best thing you can do is talk to your partner. They may not take it lightly at first, but holding on to these feelings will make you even more stressed and overwhelmed.

 

Well, it could've been the case towards women, but if you're aroused now, it clearly passed. Something that happened between you and another woman might have put you off and it compromised your attraction.

Still, turning straight seems too radical based on what you said. Are you sexually attracted to men?

 

So, do you actually have sexual feelings for the same sex? Or is it just your lack of interest in the opposite sex that makes you think you're gay? If you're sexually interested in both, I really think you're right in labeling yourself as bi.

 

Then perhaps you are bisexual with a preference towards men? With what you've stated so far, I really wouldn't consider you to be straight.

Another thing to consider is some feelings/desires can remain repressed for a long time, and then emerge later on. I have never been very attracted to many men, though I considered myself straight because I didn't have an outright sexual attraction towards women (while I did have a sexual attraction to men, even if it wasn't terribly strong). I found women attractive, but sex was another thing entirely. Even once I realized I was bi, I still couldn't imagine myself sleeping with a woman. But the more I got comfortable with who I was, the more these desires became clearer and clearer, and now, I can not only see myself sleeping with a woman, but I have almost lost my desire to ever sleep with another man.

So.. things can definitely change. Well, maybe 'change' is the wrong word, but repressed desires can surface the more you learn about yourself. At least in my experience. Maybe something similar is happening to you? You thought you were gay, but now these repressed feelings towards women are coming to the surface.

And actually, after reading through this, not sure how helpful that was. But maybe you'll find something helpful in there. X)

 

This type of video isn't useful to understand who you are. Ok sometimes the gay man like gay's video, and you can be bi and if you are be you can remain with your partner or another man. You don't be afraid! You can try to think if you want a kids, family or life with a man or woman.

 

I definitely think that could be possible. But I'm no professional or anything. X) And repressed feelings aren't intentional nor conscious. Who knows why they were repressed, if that is the case.

Though, I will also state something that I never really knew until I was on this board... Porn is really not a good indicator of sexuality. A lot of people get turned on by porn, even when it's of things they wouldn't usually do or desire. Just kind of the nature of the beast. So, could you *actually* see yourself sleeping with a woman? Have you fantasized about it at all?

 

Bisexuality can actually fluctuate, and it's different for everyone. Some people for more sexual attraction towards one given gender than the other. For some people, the amount of attraction can be equal, and for others, the amount of attraction can fluctuate. Perhaps you're just in one of those fluctuating stages?

I, for the longest time, thought that I was straight until I developed crushes on some of my closest female friends. Crushes can be important in discovering who we're attracted to if you evaluate them. Why were you attracted to those particular people? What does the fact that these crushes were short-lived mean? Some deeper exploration may be required if you want to find some answers. It may not give you an answer to everything, but it certainly can't hurt to try.

 

The original question seems to be related to arousal from porn. That has little to do with your orientation. For example, some people like watching the opposite of what they are in real life. That applies to other sorts of erotic material and even real life people that you aren't actually going to get involved with. If you are happy or could be happy with a male partner, you can consider yourself gay or bi without worrying about random arousal to women. People, especially men, can be easily aroused by all sorts of things that don't really matter.

 

Wow, papagei, I really relate to everything you were saying. The whole "if your afraid of being straight then your probably not because you know that's not you" thing is really poignant. I never quite thought about it that way but that is the perfect way to look at it to calm those fears and is probably very true. Also, you'd description of going from feeling straight to realising you were bi to feeling like you only wanna be with girls is just like me haha. I hope the OP found all your comments useful too.

In terms of the OPs question, its been answers pretty well; porn is not a good indicator of sexuality, and since you have some real life experience to go on I would stick with that. The most important point is, you don't have have to be scared of being straight; you can be bi. I find that bisexual is a really good wobbly label and I can constantly redifine it for myslef. And it really keeps you open. Sometimes you can drive yourself a bit mad trying to pin yourself down so it helps just to stick "bi" on it if you are feeling feelings for more than one gender. Of course, your still gonna want to consider this stuff but it should never be an identity crisis where you're scared of being straight.

 

I strongly agree with this. I was able to tell myself I was straight for a long time because I could enjoy lesbian porn yet never watched the gay kind. But the truth is, porn is artificial and the kind I watched had women with well above average looks. In actual real life, I tend to find myself more attracted to guys of average looks than women at all.

This is another really good point. I've tried to consider myself both gay and straight at various times in my life, but eventually rejected both as too exclusive. I think considering yourself bi, and acknowledging that both hetero and homo attractions are ok, can help you avoid irreconcilable extremes. Almost no one is a 6 on the Kinsey scale.

Anyone who has to try to be straight, isn't.

 

My attraction, as I'm single, flips from "gay" (quotation cause I'm in the process of figuring out if I'm mtf) to straight leaning bisexual. Now, I'm not saying my orientation changes but that my preference cycles. A source of major confusion that I learned to live with. So it means I'm bi or pan in general sense, but my prefference has its moods. It's like... I enjoy punk rock and post rock, but I rarely listen to both in the same week, I fixate on one for a while then jump to the other.

Now, in a relationship I am monogamic but relationship is a completely different thing than a single person's fantasies.

 

You're young, there's no need to rush things. Give it some time and, as people here are saying, porn is really not a guideline for sexual orientation.

 

Aww, I'm glad I could help! I definitely found it to be true in my experience. It'd be especially strong the moments I was about to come out to my family for the first time. Thoughts of "Omg, what if I'm straight???" ran through my head and I'd lose my nerve and the words would just not come. But... after a while I realized (with some help from a friend) that I was so afraid of possibly being straight, because that's not who I was. That wouldn't make me happy. The idea of NOT being who I thought I was just scared me so much.

After coming out? I now am 100% confident. I've honestly never been happier. I think it helps, too, that this is all still very recent for me (just came out back in October), so if you have any questions or want to talk about anything, definitely feel free to contact me.

 

Don't worry about how shallow you may seem. I may not quite understand it being that I'm demisexual, but you shouldn't be demeaned for it. Anyways, being that you're fourteen means that there is still a lot of time left for you to learn about who you are and who you're attracted to. Based on what you said, I wouldn't rule out bisexuality. Your preferences could be cycling. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you're preferences are changing because sexuality is something that you feel naturally.

You're still young, and you have a lot of time. Think things through, use the internet to your advantage. There are a lot of resources out there for research or maybe some more exploration. Talking to people definitely helps as well. It's easier to solve a question when there are multiple people working together to help come to an answer. However, just a word of advice, it's up to you ultimately in the end. We can help you come to the conclusion, but the conclusion is something that you realize on your own. If you feel that you're bisexual, then identify as bisexual. If you come to another conclusion, then that's fine. Sometimes, it may take a few attempts until you find the right answer. Best of luck to you in your journey.