I know i know it is bullshit, most of the people think someone is gay because of stereotypes (feminine attitude, shyness, not into sports etc), but have ever happened to you that you see a boy/girl and think HE IS GAY/LESBIAN? I am trying to not use gay apps and going to gay clubs, i would like to find a guy in common places, and places where i really like to spend my time, but it would be awkward to ask someone if he is gay.
I think there are subtle cues, little things one is probably not conscious of. But it is not infallible. Mistakes can and do happen.
There is some evidence that COLLECTIVELY people are capable of telling person's sexual orientation based on a photograph of the person's face. However people do it only marginally better than just randomly guessing and it is not clear does the result mean that some individuals are very good at this and most have no clue or if everyone is able to do it at the same rate. One interesting thing is that about half of my close friends are gay and we became friends much before they came out of the closet. I don't know if I subconsciously befriend gays or if I have qualities (maybe extreme tolerance?) that attract gays.
Idk sometimes my gaydar is pretty accurate but usually if you go by how the person acts around people like if they lack interest in one gender but have a lot of that gender as friends etc. And you can't always tell of course, but stereotypes aren't always the best indicator.
Thanks for the tip. I just watched it on Youtube. Where did this guy find those Norwegian "researchers"?! I mean they had strong opinions without any evidence to back it up. They attacked the studies based on entirely non-scientific arguments. On the other hand there was a lot of interesting studies I was not aware of.
Anecdotally, I can tell you that among my friends, our collective gaydar seems pretty accurate. I also have a friend (straight) who is considered to be the Gaydar jedi and can pick them out, sometimes years before they come out. So far, I don't think he's ever been wrong. So there's something there. Is it accurate all of the time, and does everyone have it? Probably not. And as to whether it's a "sixth sense" or simply observation of cues... can't say for sure but I'd lean more in the direction of cues. I agree with Euler that the quality of research in this field (like many other studies in the psychology field) is pretty dismal. I think it is something you refine the more time you spend around other gay people. Have you looked into things like Meetup, which often has gay-centered activities and events? Or your local LGBT center? Those would be good options if available.
I usually look for cues in body language. You could also bring up some LGBT issues and talk with them about it. Also, if you're open about your sexuality with somebody, they're more likely to open up to you, at least in my experience. Clearly, none of these things are fail safe, but they're better than guessing based off of stereotypes.
I saw that picture thing and as far as picking out gay people based on still photos, I'm terrible at it. The only ones I get right are basically the "gay face you can see from space" types. However, in terms of people I've actually been able to observe, I've been right way more than not, at least in terms of people I thought were gay that at some point came out as gay. There could be plenty of people I've thought were straight who aren't that I wouldn't know about, because they aren't out. Apparently, whatever it was that clued me in was there before I was really even aware of gay people or had come to terms with being gay myself. I was good friends with this guy in high school that I never, at any point had a single thought about him being gay at the time. Then randomly a number of years after I had moved away and hadn't seen him I was just sure he was gay. Years later when we re-connected he had in fact come out.
Honestly, I find it hard to tell. And yes I will admit I can be a little stereotypical in assuming a man is gay because of one reason or another. But do I actually ask if they are gay, no of course not. I don't want to seem rude or nosy or anything. But honestly the best thing to do, in my opinion, would to just go to areas that are LGBT safe and try making friendships there. See what happens? That's my advice
I'd say I have pretty OK gaydar. I've picked out a few lesbians in my "travels" (in school, sometimes at grocery stores). I'm not sure how exactly, but I find that most lesbians I get it from give off a vibe. Hard to explain.
I've had some gay guy friends who I totally thought were into me, but they were gay (and just very comfortable with things such as standing close to girls, putting their hands on girls' shoulders). I've also had guys who I was certain were gay, but then they were into me so I think it really depends. Some of the metrosexuals I know have the stereotypically gay voice intonations and ways of carrying themselves, but they are completely straight. Cultural norms sometimes can give signs towards a personal's sexuality but not always.
