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post this in wrong thread. I dont know

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by painter1234, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. painter1234

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Finally letting out held in thoughts

    Hi all, please mind my spelling and grammar as I am dyslexic and this is just a paragraph of my confused life. So I don't really know how to start this and may regret writing this tomorrow. When I was younger, I think maybe in year 8, I started to think I was attracted to girls and I got extremely frustrated. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to treat me differently. I was also not sure if it was a phase, or if It wasn't attraction, I was just really confused, and to be honest nothing has really changed. There was one time in a lesson I just started to cry, and had to leave because I just felt ill over it. Another time I was out to lunch with my mum and wanted to say something but I just couldn't. I know my mum would be okay with it (not 100% sure about other in my family) but there's still that fear. I am now 18 and since then its got more confusing I find myself wanting to be with guys and being attracted to few of them, not many, allot of the time its not instant. I find I want to kiss guys but may not enjoy it. But I would say I find girls more attractive, (I have never 'done' anything with a girl) and if there is an extremely good looking couple walking down the road id look at the girl. I found for a long time I was in denial, I think now iv come to terms that I find girls more attractive but I still don't know who I am. I developed extreme feelings for this one girl, nothing could ever happen for many, many reasons, and I'm not entirely sure what kind of love it was, or if I do, but I just don't want to say it. I may sound extremely weird. Iv just held this in for so long need to release. I have friends who are gay and everyone is fine with it, I just don't know
     
    #1 painter1234, Jan 1, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2016
  2. Secrets5

    Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    Hello,

    If you haven't told anyone yet, perhaps tell your friends who are gay or any other friends you know who will be accepting and then you can find acceptance with them if you are worrying that others might not.