I haven't known I was lesbian until (sort of) recently. For almost my whole life I've had mixed feelings and I was confused. When I realized I was lesbian, I was afraid. I knew a lot of the other students in my school were against being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender including some of my really close friends. For a while, I forced myself to try to be straight. I never really felt right doing it so I accepted it, but kept it a secret. I had planned to tell one of my friends that I was lesbian, but only a day or two before, I heard her and a bunch of other students dissing it. So I kept pretending, keeping it all locked up inside until I was alone. I pretend to go along with the crowd while it seems like my heart is screaming at me. I'm afraid that if the facade falls, my friends will bully me and my parents would stop talking to me (they would kick me out if I were older). Should I keep pretending?
Hello, I'm kinda in a similar spot tbh All my life I've been extremely awkward and also forced myself to like guys, usually resulting in trying to ham it up to impress friends, until a few months ago when I just sat down and tried to dig out another guy to "like" and thought about how I just feel nothing while other girls just crush so easily on them. So, now I'm in that same spot where I've always "liked" guys and so don't wanna deal with that, and I'm afraid that my family will get upset or my girl friends will get creeped out, or whatever. I say that you should try to seek out any LGBT kids around school, or simply getting in touch online (as you already are). That's what I did, and it was easy enough to slowly transition out to at least those kids, especially because they are incredibly unlikely to tell anyone else. Because of the fact that your parents may not accept it, be careful for your own sake, but having some actual living people that "get" it around you helps loads. And if your friends are gonna give you a hard time about it, I'm gonna have to be blunt and say they aren't good friends. Surround yourself with people who care, and it will get better. I wish you luck!
Even if they hate LGBT, if they're actually your friend they will still be your friend, but I dunno my friends have never outright dissed LGBT, but they are against it, so I don't know
I just recently realised that I'm a lesbian aswell I'm in a friendship group at school which is based on popularity, how pretty you are and all that sort of crap... I pretended to be the straightest girl there was for two years (I didn't even realise I was doing it) and I slept with a lot of men, had a boyfriend even (terrible experience absolutely no connection) and then I realised I am gay. These girls in my group are very kind (I suppose) judgemental (yes) but they've been my friends for years. I am not out to anyone, and my friends too make horrible homophobic comments, I just stay quiet and feel like crying... it hurts a lot. I have bad anxiety too, not long ago I was in religion class and my teacher was going on about how homosexuality is a sin etc. I started shaking really badly, my heart was racing so I ran to the bathroom and had a panic attack in the cubicle. So I understand how hard it is to feel accepted when everyone around you seems to be against something you cannot change about yourself. I'll tell you this though, I am slowly loving being gay. I am dressing how I want now, I am acting how I've always felt/wanted to act and dropping subtle hints to people that I like women. The result of this? I've pretty much lost contact with all my friends except one, I'm on holidays and none of them invite me out anymore, or even speak to me. None said happy new year... yeah it sucks but I don't need people like that around. I'm so ready to just be me and be happy about who I am that I don't even give a fuck who I lose along the way because I have to put myself and my happiness first. Learn to love yourself regardless of what people think. It takes time but you will reach that point and you will never feel happier!!
