As the username suggests, I feel in a land of confusion (conveniently a good song too) currently with my sexuality. I am 14, and have been like this for quite a while. To be honest, I really do feel like I might be gay, I am just not 100%. If I were to come out to everyone at this stage in my life, my school life would go from great and plummet down to hell and below. Though I still am not quite sure. Quite often, I have sexual fantasies about one of my friends which is the main part of why I think I might be gay. The fact that I would actually WANT to do these things, not just the thought since everyone goes through these kinds of thoughts in their life. I have no problem with this overall, to be honest I might rather be gay. I doubt that there is anyone in my life who is gay, the only person I know who is, is a girl so that doesn't help me as much. I might even trust her enough to be one of the first people I tell apart from my parents. There is something in my mind that is telling me to stop all this, that I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff. I try to ignore that side as much as possible, but sometimes it almost takes me over. Does anyone have any advice they can give me? It'd be much appreciated. - Knight of Ren, landofconfusion
First of all, it's okay if you're gay. It's perfectly fine. Furthermore, maybe you could start by exploring your sexuality a bit? Maybe not diving headfirst into a relationship, but by asking yourself what it is you like about guys. If they have traits that are attractive to you, then yes you might be gay. But I wouldn't flat out try to ignore it, because that's just too hard on you. Especially since you're so young and you have plenty of time to figure it out.
To be completely honest, I really don't have much interest in girls. If I see a picture of a 'good looking' woman on my Facebook feed, I just shrug and go past it. I myself don't see anything wrong with being gay, it's just that one part of my mind that's trying to stop me. There is a lot about guys I like, and a very mediocre amount about girls (apart from their personalities, which I usually feel comfortable with).
Well you could probably be bisexual. And it's okay to be bisexual with a preference too. Don't think that I'm telling you what you are because I'm not. This is just a suggestion.
I don't think I am, as I say, I basically have no interest in girls apart from just the occasional chat if we have something in common. Even then, I don't want it to go any further.
Well you still have a lot of time to figure it out. You're still very young, so it's not something you need to know for sure right away It might be best to just focus on friendships for now while you think on this. Just an idea.
I do wish there was someone within my friendship group who was either bisexual or gay so that I could ask him about things. There might actually be, and if there is he's as good as hiding it as me.
How about reaching out to some LGBT groups in your community? If there are any, at all. If not, you always have online forums like this site to go to.
Maybe I could find someone around my age on these forums and we could have a chat (not in a weird way).
There is plenty of time to figure things out so don't feel pushed in to 'outing yourself' and the consequences of that... it is something you can be figuring out while you get through school So don't feel pressured either way. In time you will find someone to talk to about it - in the meantime EC is the next best thing!!
