This is really random, but I just really need someplace to tell this to bc it's really been bothering me lately. As insignificant as it seems, it has been bringing up my anxiety and making me feel on the brink of wanting to kill myself again. So basically I was on the internet one day and in the comment section of something a man told me that me, and other lesbians like me who aren't full-on butch, aren't "real lesbians" - that we just have "mommy issues", and that that's what makes us lesbians. He said that full-on butches are the only "real d*kes" bc they have high levels of testosterone or whatever. And here's the thing: I do have mommy issues... sort of. And I also think I have higher levels of estrogen :/ The way I was brought up, I was raised to feel as if my feelings and needs were less important than those of others. I have 3 other siblings, one - my older brother - who has Autism and Down's syndrome. Because of his conditions, my brother required a lot of attention as a child - and as a result I clung to my twin sister for help and guidance. As I have gotten older, and I'm 16 now, I still feel this void in my heart/emotional state brought on by the absence of my mom during my childhood. She's nice to me now, of course, and she feels guilty about it - but it doesn't make it go away, and what she did has had a significant negative impact on my emotional development. Now let's get this straight, I'm not. I am a lesbian. I have only really had erotic thoughts of women, and without hesitation I would choose watching a woman undress versus watching a man undress. And yet my right hand doesn't pass that digit-test thing where your index is supposed to be shorter than your ring finger for lesbians. So apparently I have like higher levels of estrogen or something, and I've always felt more drawn to women. It just adds up to make me feel like I'm broken and something's wrong with me and that I was really supposed to be straight but my mom fucked it up or something.
Ugh... I'm so sorry that happened to you. Not sure what I can say except that nobody gets to tell you your sexuality but you. This dude sounds like a troll. :bang: Just ignore him and be who you are! It seems like you know yourself pretty well.
You are what you feel you are. Do not let anyone tell you something different. That finger thing.....what if you were born with no hands? Would that change your orientation? No. Please don't fall for the stereotype requirements. I am 36 years old and at your age I listened to people tell me how I couldn't be attracted to women, couldn't be lesbian, couldn't be bisexual. Had people tell me I was too pretty, too fem...blah, blah, blah. Listening to that has only caused pain. Accept yourself for who you are, and in the end you will have peace of mind. It is tough especially as a teen but just be comfortable with who you are and ignore those who tell you that you have to fit a stereotype to earn a label.
