i am so tired. all. the . fucking. time. I am stuck in this self created hate directed at the fact that i like girls. I don't even know why. the majority of my friends accept gays, some of my friends are gay, my family supports gays, i openly support gays. But i can't like/support myself. Everytime i look at a girl, or feel something for a girl i find my inner voice telling me how disgusting and perverse i am and next thing i know I'm writing out suicide letters for all my family. I am just a hypocritical ball of shit. The sad thing is that i created another email to join this website. I imagine my life with a husband and kids and i feel safe but i don't feel a want for it. And then i imagine myself with a girlfriend or wife and i feel an inner burn for this and then the moment i stop imagining i am brought back to a wave of guilt and shame. I used to believe in God, and i still do and that was my first issue- dealing with the "God hates fags" thing. But I'm fine with that now. i just wish could place my finger on why i hate myself so much. I don't feel right identifying as gay, but i know i am not straight. People will tell me to ignore labels but i really, really need to know what the fuck i am because i am going insane. I know you can't tell me why and i don't expect anyone to be able to i just need to vent and feel less like a two headed alien. J. female, 16
Hey. That sucks. And it doesn't look like it'll improve over night. That sucks too. But you know what doesn't suck? You. That's right. Because you like girls uh Duh. Leave the cock sucking to the gay guys LOL. It seems like this is a great place to vent and I hope you get the closure you need. Please. Try not to hate yourself for not knowing all the answers. And of all the things you could do, don't kill yourself over a simple issue of miscommunication. Miscommunication within yourself. Keep at it lady. Stop asking yourself what you want. Look at what you need. Im sure you'll come to your own realization and epiphany.
Hey. That sucks. And it doesn't look like it'll improve over night. That sucks too. But you know what doesn't suck? You. That's right. Because you like girls uh Duh. Leave the cock sucking to the gay guys LOL. It seems like this is a great place to vent and I hope you get the closure you need. Please. Try not to hate yourself for not knowing all the answers. And of all the things you could do, don't kill yourself over a simple issue of miscommunication. Miscommunication within yourself. Keep at it lady. Stop asking yourself what you want. Look at what you need. Im sure you'll come to your own realization and epiphany.
Hey. That sucks. And it doesn't look like it'll improve over night. That sucks too. But you know what doesn't suck? You. That's right. Because you like girls uh Duh. Leave the cock sucking to the gay guys LOL. It seems like this is a great place to vent and I hope you get the closure you need. Please. Try not to hate yourself for not knowing all the answers. And of all the things you could do, don't kill yourself over a simple issue of miscommunication. Miscommunication within yourself. Keep at it lady. Stop asking yourself what you want. Look at what you need. Im sure you'll come to your own realization and epiphany.
thank you aha, i guess i will leave the cock sucking to the guys. You're reply actually helped a lot and i'll try to not get so down over like you said, a miscommunication with myself. Thank you
