Hello, I am a lesbian 40 yrs old attracted by a straight 50 yrs old woman. I met her by chance on a restaurant and we looked each other intensively. For 4 months we were going out (not dating) all day long and just the two of us. Losing track of time and people. We were in tuned amazingly easy. Suddenly she disappears. Any thoughts? I miss her. I send her an email telling her exactly that. But I realised that propably she would freak out more.
What is her status? Is she married, single, in a relationship? What about her past relationships? What is your friendship like? Any specific signs she might be interested in you? Was there any flirting? Based on your post, I can´t say if she´s into you and freaking out. For all we know she could just have been busy lately. Life happens... You did the right thing telling her how you feel, though. Communication is the key and hearing that someone misses you is always heart melting.:love:
Thank you for your response. She is single, married in the past, no kids. She was into me. I know that. I could feel it. She asked me to decorate her apartment and she was excited I said yes. Everything was clear and honest. Contracts etc. This is how I am anyway. I shouldn't accept her offer but in Greece there is tough times with the crisis. I thought I could handle it. Suddenly her best male friend and homophobic (ex boyfriend from the past) appears to protect her (;; and influences her to stop the collaboration with me. She acts with anger towards me on the phone with no logic and disappears. The last phone call was made by her friend to cancel the agreement. I am not stupid, she reacted really bad. But I am really confused. I met all her friends, she met mine. We were going out in any occasion. She was helpful and the chemistry was scary. In the last weeks before she freaks out, she confess me that 1) she feels overwhelmed by our interaction which is not friendly but not sexual either 2) she has been with another woman and it was amazing 3) I haven't put her in any difficult situation. 4) she was in a female boarding school at her 16 and two lesbians tried to rape her. In all these information I was playing cool. It was two difficult years for me. Dies my best friend,two others get ill by the same illness, I separate from a 10 yrs old relationship, my dog dies, I lose my job. I really thought that I wouldn't feel like this again. It was "something" at first sight. After the argument, I send her two long angry emails asking her "why". Professionally I should cancel all the teams of technicians etc. She responds in a handwriting letter, asking sorry only for the phone call from her friend and not by her. She was angry with me. On New Year's Eve , she sends me "happy new year", and I respond that I miss her. It sounds pathetic but personally, I have no need to hide what I feel. In that way you get right way the respond. But she didn't answer. Today I send her an email asking her to meet. I want to know what happened and close the whole story. It hurts. And I am tired.
I don´t know what to say... She has issues to work on, that´s for sure. Her past interactions with those two lesbians may still haunt her. As for her ex-boyfriend, I don´t really understand what he has to do with anything. Are they back together? Do they remain friends? Did she make him call you or was it his own initiative? Why does she permit/tolerate such a thing? Do you even know each other? Does she know about your sexuality and your feelings for her? Did you actually tell her or you just assume that she knows/suspects? Were there any financial disputes (or any kind of disputes) between the two of you? I would probably call her (no e-mails and texts in this case) and calmly ask her to clear things up. As friends for now, leave the romantic aspect aside. It´s one thing to not want an intimate relationship with you and distance herself and a whole different thing to subject you to this absurd behavior. Do try to approach her, but prepare yourself for a bad outcome. Even the end of your friendship. Sounds like a pretty messed up situation, unfortunately... Good luck to you! (*hug*) PS. Pantou uparxei enas Ellinas!
She knows about me and my feelings and that I was confused me too. I never date straight women to protect myself but with her , I couldn't stand back. There was absolutely any financial issue between us. We are arguing who is gonna pay first when we were going out. And I am a generous person. Her friend is her ex boyfriend that she knows that she is the "typical homophobic but in the heart a good and funny person" as she says. She called him to keep track of the financial issues because she is working like mad. But he didn't stop to that. He was one of the clients. I be told her at the beginning that I don't want to do with him in a gentle way. He was gealous. It was obvious. Anyway I asked her to meet but I think that the outcome will not be a nice one. She is so afraid that she will be just angry. Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciate it. Are you Greek???????? ))))
To clarify : He became also "client" and she accepted his involvement or at least she didn't disapprove it .
Her ex seems to be very involved. And she seems to be able to set no boundaries... I don´t know, he may be influencing her against you, but she´s an adult (more than that, actually). She should be able to put him in his place... There´s nothing, really, you can do about it. Just talk to her and see where things go. I must admit that it seems like a dead end, though. Kindly consider detaching yourself from this situation.
Thank you very much for your time. I totally agree with you. I contacted her calmly and with politeness. That's it. ))
No problem. I just wish I could be of more help. Good luck! Don´t forget to come back and let us know how it goes. Have fun here on EC!
Hi again. I ve seen her several times in the street but we haven't spoke. I emailed her again asking her politely to meet me for a closure. Athens is a small city and its really hard to pass by each other without even a "hi". No response at all. She doesn't exist anymore for me. I know there is no solution. I just feel really sad for the conclusion of our friendship. Really sad. I realise that or she is really scared of herself and she is project in her fear on me , or she just enjoys the crash I have on her. But I never got this kind of behaviour from her side. Anyway, there is nothing to do, and it's killing me. I haven't felt like this (enthusiastic and tenderness) for over 11 yrs. I suppose it's part of my decisions this kind of closure. It's my choice too.
So sorry things ended up this way... (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Let her be. There´s nothing else you can do. Go out, have fun, meet new people. It´ll get better.
