Hello everyone, I hope some of you may be able to give me a little bit of perspective here. I'm 25 years old and a total virgin both romantically and sexually. Until recently, I've only looked upon girls but never found courage or maybe interest to push things forward. On this comes this guy, I've known him for 3 or 4 years now and even if we rapidly got along with each other it is only recently that I caught myself thinking of him as more than just a friend. You know, like watching him as we speak and asking myself what it would feel like to kiss him or having fantasies that morality forbid me to report here :icon_redf . Nobody else ever triggered thought like these before. The problems are that I don't know if it could be only a passing crush and that, him being really secretive about his private life, I have no evidences about his possible orientation. Oh and before I finish, we both look like typical masculine heteros if it has any importance. So for once I want to push thing forward but I don't know where to begin . Any wisdom to share?
Do you know what his preference is? I say go for it! It's not like you're just infatuated, because you've known him for a while. Good luck!
I'd say invite him for drinks or to see a movie. Watch for clues about whom he looks at or about whom he makes comments. Does he notice the pretty girl or is he looking at the cute guy? Body language and eye contact will give you some good clues about him if you pay attention !
I'm wondering how you could know someone for 3-4 years and not know their orientation. That is odd to me. If I were to guess, I'd say he's hiding something...being bi/gay. I'd just ask him...maybe allay his fears that he will be judged first.
Yeah I might try a move, thank for the support. We often have a drink together but I have never noticed him checking on anyone and about analyzing human behaviour, I am really bad at this exercise. I'll try to be more attentive. I hardly ever speak of this specific subject myself and as I said he is really quiet about is personal life in general so it's why I don't know much. How should I prepare the ground ? Because I don't want to be rude by asking him point blank if he is not that confident about this.
Maybe you should mention your own questioning of your sexuality? You don't have to mention your attraction to him from the off. You could bring up the subject and see where it takes you.
Reco battalion on report, Sir! So I have seen my friend this evening and tried to begin a conversation about LGBT subjects at different moment. I even spoke to him about an encounter I had last week with a young male who was obviously flirting with me at the bar. He only answered to that saying "what the fuck". There was a small blank in the conversation and he changed subject. Because of this lack of interest in the matter I decided to not investigate any further for tonight. I don't know what to think about this.
Might want to take a break from that, yeah. He doesn't sound very interested in the LGBT subjects which does say something about where he stands at the moment. Sounds a little... Homophobic? I think eventually I'd ask him what his problem is with LGBT subjects.
Maybe calling him homophobic is a little bit extreme but that clearly cold me down. I have to gather my thoughts now.
