I'm pretty sure I'm bi or Pansexual but I feel like I could be wrong even though I know I'm not. It's because I have never had a crush on a girl before- as in a proper crush that isn't a celebrity but someone in real life. I've had kinda feelings in a way for a friend at school but I'm not sure if they were those kind of feelings and never really amounted to anything. I just feel so invalidated because I've never had these big girl crushes lots of bi and lesbian girls talk about?
Hey! I'm a lesbian and I've had crushes on girls, but not anything super major - like never full-on in love. And I'm older than you, I'm 16! Nonetheless I am aware that I am exclusively interested in being with other girls, so I am sure I am lesbian. Just the same is for you - your identity is still 100% valid regardless of whether you have a lot or very little experience with girls. We all start somewhere! Just don't rush yourself into it or try to force anything that isn't really there, you'll know it when it's there - just as I will one day.
I totally get what you mean. I hear stories all the time about people having their first real gay crush and then realizing that "they've always known they're lgbt". And I'm sure that's true for some people but it's not true for me and I suppose it isn't for you either. I'm pretty confident that I'm bi and there is one girl who I'm interested in but I don't know if I'm actually romantically interested in her or if it's just my brain thinking weird things. It's frustrating because it makes me feel invalid but one day I'll figure it out. Anywho I think what I'm trying to say is that if you're bi or pan you'll most likely end up having a proper crush on a girl some day.
I knew I was gay when I was 6 or something, and I only had a proper gay crush until 19 or 20. I think you just haven't met the right people, or you life circle is small that you don't meet a lot of people, maybe?
You're fourteen - maybe you're just not attracted to the types of girls you know in real life? Maybe you go for a type that's more common among adult celebrities than your peers?
My first crushes on girls were all on celebrities. It wasn't a conscious decision, but I'm pretty sure I did it because it felt safer. There's more distance. Nothing has to happen. You don't even have to acknowledge that it's a real crush. I had a lot of internalized homophobia to deal with, and celebrity crushes were easier because they weren't as real. The proper crushes on people you actually know will come eventually. Maybe your lack of crushes isn't happening for the same reason mine did, but I suspect it will still resolve itself. Give it some time. If, after a few years, you're still not having feelings for girls you know in real life, maybe it's worth reconsidering your sexuality. But for now, don't worry about it.
