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confusion on sexuality(again!)

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ECMember, Jan 8, 2016.

  1. ECMember

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm unsure where to post this but I've been thinking about some points and thoughts lately:
    1. I don't see myself as purely straight or gay.
    2. I've had some mixed sexual/platonic/emotional feelings towards close guy friends(certain ones) and guys that fit that 'mold'(White, youngish looking, blonde/grey blonde, upper to middle class, 18-mid 20s).
    3. I see myself as "mostly straight" within the bi sexual specturm.
    4. I've estimated my Kinsey score about a 2.8-2.99.
    5. Virgin at 24.

    Anyway, I somewhat put the pursuit of seeking relationship with women on hold but want to pursuit relationship/experimenting with guys for a while that I have some inclination towards. I still prefer women but I just put that on hold for a while. If I saw a porno clip of a women or "hot sorority chicks" I would still get turned on let me point out.

    I have the random fantasy of having a relationship with a White guy early 20s and he's this well off guy. He and I settle down and live it up in some up scale lifestyle in Southern California or somewhere nice. I have some desire to seek a relationship with youngish looking White guys that are wealthy. If any knows my past and read my posts, you'd understand things I'm referring to.

    But I don't have that fantasy as my main preference. If I do fulfill my fantasy of finding a guy like that, then that would be great :icon_bigg. But if not, I'll have to lower my standards a bit.

    The main thing that I'm confused about, what if I find the "right guy." I mean, if he and I are a match. Would that make us gay. I mean, if he and I are bi curious or bi sexual or whatever, would that make us automatically gay.

    I mean that's something I've been confused about. If he and I had sex, would that make us gay.

    Then there has been the thought of "marrying" a bi curious or bi sexual. Now people have told me, "[my name], that's gay." How would that make me gay, if I married a bi sexual or bi curious guy. I'm a little confused.

    If I did marry a guy, it would be someone who hit my preferences and I had some really good compatibility. If he and I would share rights and privileges and benefits in a marriage, I would want it to work for the both of us.

    And I do have some preference for a younger guy(18-21) and that would narrow the scope of guys I would search for relationship.

    I feel fucking confused on my sexuality.

    I don't see myself as gay or straight. I mean, I would act like this machismo for a long time that I was purely straight and had the fantasy or thought of having sex with good looking girls. But there were points in my life, that I did have some fantasies towards close guy friends or guys.

    It's hard to say that I'm bi or bi curious or gay.

    If I had to put a label on my sexuality right now, I would say that I am a:
    borderline-bi curious or heteroromantic bisexual
     
  2. BobJones

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    First off, if you find a guy whom you're attracted to and perhaps fall in love with, date, and marry, you are still bisexual. You still have the potential to be attracted to women. Being bisexual means you're attracted to both genders, and can date/ marry someone of either gender. If you are attracted to both men and women, You ARE bisexual.
    Your preferences may change slightly. At a certain point, you may realise that you are more attracted to men, or not as attracted to them as you previously thought, so, I'd say that you have the right idea with experimentation.
    Now, with romantic attraction, it can be quite difficult to determine. There was a time when I thought I could never love a man, and look at me now, I'm head over heals for a guy right now. If you genuinely have attraction to men, romantic feelings may soon follow. I wouldn't keep it out of the question.
     
    #2 BobJones, Jan 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2016