I'm 20, I came out as bi a little over a year ago when I was fresh out of a bad relationship and felt safe to do so. At this point I had no experience with girls but I knew I was very much attracted to them. I spent several month single and went on a few dates with guys. I had no idea how to approach finding a date with a girl. I ended up getting with a close guy friend of mine. During this few months we were together I struggled getting close to him and I didn't like him touching me or anything. I attributed this to damage from my previous relationship, which would make sense, but at the same time I was still completely comfortable with other girls. We split on good terms because I felt the need to work on myself more. I went to a dating app looking for a hook up to affirm that I was interested in girls in every way, not just how they looked. That didn't go anywhere. Fortunately for me, however, when I asked a friend for advice on the matter they offered to hook up with me. It was the best experience of my life. From there I put more energy into looking for a girlfriend and told a few people I was pretty sure I was a lesbian. Then I got lonely and I have never handled being single well at all, so I ended back up with the ex I had just been dating. I was able to get closer to him this time around, as I had been working through a lot of my other issues, and at first I was confident that I was bi with a preference for women. It's been months and I'm going back to wanting girls. I want the feeling of having a girl I care about under my arm, spoiling her and such. Not to mention my libido is going crazy but I don't want to bang my boyfriend at all. We hardly kiss never mind anything else. I don't want the D at all from any guy. My brain keeps telling me I want to hook up with a girl, I don't cheat though, and I feel bad because my boyfriend is really a sweet guy, great personality, understands my issues from the previous, and doesn't demand anything from me (that's why I got back with him in the first place) Basically I thought I was bi but now my craving for a relationship with a woman is making me question that, and I just don't know what to think anymore. There's also a whole bunch of back story behind me discovering I was interested in women in the first place, but I figured I can say that bit if someone asks me too.
oh gosh girl, you sound like me. I would say I'm Bi but lean more towards women or maybe I'm pansexual....I don't know haha screw labels! I think you shouldn't let that define who you are but if you must know I would say your Bi unless you have absolutely no attraction to men then obviously you would be lesbian lol
It sounds like you are more lesbian & have moved back with your bf because of emotional security. I did the almost exactly the same- my first same sex experience was mind-blowing, then after my gf and I broke up, I went bak from thinking of myself as gay to to bisexual, because I still 'could' have sex with a guy. But really, I don't want to be sexual or in a relationship with one, and I am just not capable of responding the same to guys as to women. I'd suggest allowing yourself to explore being with women- it might entail breaking up with your bf. The longer you stay with him, the more difficult it will be to move into exploring your interest in women. It might well be that you are bisexual with a preference for women- but that still does not mean that you should stay with guys only.
I mean, I'm attracted to some guys looks, but once I get like close to them I have no desire for anything more. And I know the longer we're together the harder it is. He's noticed me getting more distant and can tell somethings on my mind. I'm not a strong person and my entire social life circles around him. I have been trying to branch out and make new friends but I haven't gotten anywhere yet. Basically I'm in a rough spot where leaving him could mean I end up twice as lonely. I'm half hoping he picks up on whats getting to me and says something to me so that conversation can happen.
