I'm doing this in the style of a bug report because it's how I feel most comfortable doing it. Issue: I cannot get physically/sexually close to people with whom I have an emotional/romantic relationship, without leaving myself feeling very wrong, depressed, ashamed, and frustrated. I feels like I can only hook up with strangers and people who I don't really know, which I'll admit is very exciting to think about, but it's not something really I want to be doing. Example #1: I meet a guy, we do the dating thing where we get to know each other, and then when it comes to the bedroom, I have to turn him down otherwise I'll leave myself a sobbing and emotional mess. Example #2: I hook up with a guy, but feel like I can never speak to him again because I was left feeling so wrong and awkward. Impact: I am put off ever meeting guys or advancing beyond "friends", which is currently wreaking havoc on my social life. I've been talking to this one guy for over 8 months now, and I really feel sorry for him because I want to do things with him; Grab dinner, see a movie, stay at his house, stay up to 4am chatting to him online telling him how awesome he his, but I can't because I'll just end up feeling bad about myself. Note: I'm not looking to speak to him about this. I'm sure he'd be very sweet and understanding if I brought it up, but it doesn't solve my issue. :icon_wink So my questions are: Does anyone else feel this way? If you do, how has it affected you? Were you able to remedy your issue? If so, in what ways? Is there a name for this? I'm aware of PCT, and I've been told this is like the opposite of demisexuality. However, I don't think it's PCT - It only happens when I'm with people I have friendships/relationships with. Like PCT, I don't feel like it qualifies as demisexuality. I'm still physically attracted to the people in question. Does this seem normal? As part of the "emotional battles of life"? What the heck can I do about it? Getting very drunk every time is not a sustainable option. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I look forward to any replies. *does one last proof-read, likely missing things out, before promptly clicking "Submit New Thread" to prevent a chicken-out thanks to the perpetual potential for embarrassment*
Heeeey, don't be embarrassed! Sexual attraction is... Well embarrassing-- so don't be embarrassed, cause everyone feels this way. At least most people. Honestly I would advise you just take it at snail pace, if any sexual activity. By this I mean, Just don't have sex until you can feel fully comfortable with your partner after a long period of time. Relationships really aren't about sex anyways. In any case, you shouldn't be ashamed of your own desires. It's really, really normal. But, I would give it some time. Make sure that you're comfortable with both yourself, and your partner. Hope this helps.
