1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Confused About My Sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by kibou97, Jan 10, 2016.

  1. kibou97

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2016
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Back in september, i started coming out to people as Gay, including my Mother and some friends and hadnt regretted it for months. However, since the beginning of this past December, i've become more and more confused about it. While i've been sexually attracted to males since i started going through puberty, especially in high school, i never actually realized that it was part of my sexuality until almost a year ago. As a result, i went through 17 years of my life assuming I'd end up in a relationship with a woman.

    I've only ever been attracted to a girl 3 times with one of those being when i was just in 5th grade, one being during middle school, and one during my Freshman year in high school. The last time I was attracted to a woman, it briefly was sexual but then that stopped after a few days. I can't help but feel like even though these werent near as deep as my attractions to men, i can't help but feel like i'm lying to myself because of those times. I know that porn isn't an accurate representation of real life at all, i also was attracted to women in drawn porn, but not in porn with actual actors. I feel like i was more turned on by the concept of being aroused though and normally when it involved both men and women, I would mainly just be attracted to the men but in things like erotica, i found myself becoming aroused to even lesbian erotica.

    On top of that, even though i mainly only am physically attracted to men now in real life, I can recognize beauty in women (things like beautiful skin or looking beautiful in clothing in general, not even clothing meant to arouse people) and everytime I do, I immediately feel worse and like I'm just lying to myself. I want to end up marrying a man now but i can't help but be afraid that I'm just lying to myself. I even have a crush on my best friend (male) but i can't help but just be afraid and I've also never been in a relationship before. Whenever i look at porn, i feel reassured about me being gay but then after a few hours of just being alone and thinking, I can't help but become scared all over again. I just want some help figuring out what I am and if going through things like this is normal.
     
  2. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well... What you could do-- Identify as Bi for the time being,(Bi with a preference lean towards men) and see if that changes. A lot of people in your situation do that. Of course, you don't have to- But it might help, for the time being to remain in a more... flexible zone such as Bi. And you might be just Gay. But this way you know you're not lying; just exploring alternatives.
     
    #2 Linus, Jan 10, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2016