Hello everyone! I am new to this site. So. I am a 23 year old female and I have always considered myself as straight but for the past 7 months I have really been considering my sexuality. This is not the first time I have questioned my sexuality, its actually the third time (once when I was about 15/16 and the other when I was about 18) but I have always made myself forget about it. This is not because I have anything against the LGBT community, I have many friends that are gay but for some reason I always try to make myself forget about what I was feeling. I have only ever been in relationships with men and I have only ever kissed men but I have never slept with anyone. I find men attractive but over the past 7 months I am starting to notice girls more and finding them attractive. I really do not know whether it is me just being curious or that I am not straight. To be honest these past 7 months I have not been thinking about men at all just women. I am an extremely shy person, I really do not know how to proceed with this. I haven't told anyone how I am feeling. I don't want to tell someone about this and it turns out that I was wrong. Is my only option to go to a gay bar and find out? I really not know what to do, I can't shake how I am feeling. Thanks for listening
Hi! First of all, welcome to EC; we're glad you've found us. Ultimately, no one can tell you how to identify. Just know that what you are describing isn't at all unusual. Labels can be extraordinarily helpful, but you are still valid no matter how you choose to identify yourself. You have so many options for figuring out how you want to identify yourself. You don't have to socialize in a way that isn't comfortable for you. May the Force be with you!
Just wanted to let you know that you are not on your own. I have and still do have similar feelings - tbh its just nice to know somebody else feels the same way. Thanks for sharing your post
Thank you guys for reading and posting back, it actually feels good to actually write it down and to tell someone how I am feeling. I really want to tell someone I know about it but I cannot seem to do it. It is great to hear that I am not the only one Katie. Does everyone have an advice about how I could truly find out my sexuality? Don't think I am quite up to going a gay bar on my own. Is it just to tell someone exactly how I am feeling?
Also, like I have said before I've started to notice girls more and I find myself being attracted to guys looks but once I get close to them I don't really want anything more. Being close to them, touching, kissing doesn't feel right that is one of the reasons why I have never gone all the way with a guy. I should enjoy that stuff if I am attracted to them, right? Really do not know what is going on in this head of mine
Speaking from expierience, I'd say that going to a gay bar is maybe not the best way to figure things out. If you have an LGBT community group near you, see what they offer. Where I am they offere support/ counselling, social activities like film nights, reading groups and so much more. Hope this helps and good luck.
From my own experience going to a gay bar doesn't make me aware which sexuality I am attracted too, but definitely gives me a non-judgmental place to figure that out. I feel quite socially isolated from the LGBT community in the town that I am from (hence why I am on on here). "Also, like I have said before I've started to notice girls more and I find myself being attracted to guys looks but once I get close to them I don't really want anything more." This is like I have actually wrote it! I have met some lovely attractive guys, but the idea of even kissing them is just no and if I see someone that I know is a lesbian I unwittingly start orientating myself around them unintentionally. I have definitely found since talking to certain close friends and family members it helps (or it has in my case) for me this actually put my thoughts in perspective, perhaps just saying it out loud to somebody you know will help.
In response to your second question, I don't think that there's a universal way to figure out your sexuality. Some people have a kind of "aha" moment, and for others it takes time to recognize these feelings.
