Hi Everyone! I've been wanting to post here for a while. I'm so glad I found this community: thanks for being here. I really need some help/advice/thoughts on a pretty distressing situation I'm dealing with. I'm a woman in my early thirties who has had very little experience with relationships. It's possible that I fall on the very edge of the Asexual spectrum, however I also suspect that my lack of experience/desire stems from a pretty severe anxiety disorder. I'm really not sure. I have had some experiences with men that were pretty unsatisfying, but have also experienced strong romantic/sexual attraction to women - though I never acted on these as I was too inhibited ... However I have always suspected I am bisexual on the basis of this history. Now I'm in my 30s I feel a little more confident about exploring things. However the stress about my sexuality has just blown right up. I'm always close to tears about it, mainly because of a few things which I would really love any input on: 1. I feel so so confused and have very little idea on how to explore sexuality. Also due to being half-way through a PhD, I'm stuck living with my parents and meeting stressful deadlines. My parents are not religious or conservative but they are super overprotective and tend to be really stifling. I'm definitely not ready to share this stuff with them yet. And certainly can't bring boy/girlfriends home. 2. The other thing is that I'm scared about age. I just turned 33 and feel so old to be going through this. I wish I'd had the courage to deal with this in my 20s... My anxiety just suppressed so much, now I've woken up and it has hit me. But now I feel like I've left it all so late. Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounds overwrought. I just felt I needed to share with people who would understand. And any thoughts/advice would be really appreciated. Thank you
Hi Lindarhia. This is my very first post! I don't know if this is helpful but I feel in a very similar situation. My social skills/self confidence is really bad, just for small talk even, let alone anything personal. I have always blamed this for my perennial lack of a boyfriend. And also me not really feeling worthy of love. But now I have had crushes on so many female workmates (gay and straight) that I'm confused. I wonder if I am just craving attention from anybody who takes even a passing interest in my wellbeing. I don't know! I am older than you though and still trying to figure things out. Don't stress about your age. I hope you are ok!
Hey Lindarhia, here on EC is a whole section called LGBT later in life and if you read a few entries you will see that you are definitely not that old going through this. I thought that myself and I still think that it might have been easier if I just knew when I was a teenager or in my early 20s. But I also could be living with a lie my whole life. As for being confused. Maybe try and find out if there is some kind of LGBT community near you that you could check out, get to know people. And about living with your parents. I guess it is not ideal dating wise but it should not be a deal breaker and if you don't feel ready you don't have to tell them anything. take care
