The concept of sexual orientation drives me crazy. I feel so trapped by it. I do avoid categorizing myself, but that leads to two things. People assume I'm straight because I don't say anything or people assume I'm bi because I'm vague about my orientation. That basically puts me into the category of "girl interested in dating guys". It's not too bad being put into that category unconsciously because it's the default. People don't stereotype that category as much or even think about it much. It just gets annoying when it comes to dating expectations. Dating expectations aren't too bad when people assume I'm straight and have no reason to suspect otherwise. I just feel like they see me as a regular person. My anxiety starts when people know I'm interested in dating girls. They do hurtful things like obsess about my sexuality or impose heterosexuality on me. I cope with it by joking about being straight, but no one can really tell I'm joking. I wish I could just say I'm looking for girls or interested in girls without being categorized. I do not like being called curious, bisexual, lesbian, a girl who likes girls or anything else. The only categories I'm comfortable with are gay(as an umbrella term), non-straight or queer. I hate how all the traditional labels rely on attraction. I don't want to be categorized because of my attraction.
