Hey! So I thought I figured myself out thanks to you guys, in my last thread, but since a few days I've been feeling down again, and I'm back to square one... I know that I can see myself in relationship with a guy emotionally and sexually speaking, but with a woman too however it's more in an emotional way. The thing is : if I identify as bi I feel like I can't even figure myself out because I don't know if I would go for a man or a woman and I'm also scared to identify as gay because I would be labeled as it, and if at some point I'd like to be with a woman it would totally be weird. This is causing me trouble. My grades are getting down and my first exams are going to come fast (March) and the final ones will take place in June. I'm sorry to bother you all. I also need to say that after my last thread I wanted to come out as bi to a friend but as I wrote, I feel like the only thing it will do is bothering her 'cause I can't even decide and I will just look like dumb. Before I had my grandma to talk to but she passed away not a long time ago (cancer :tears: ) she in a way raised me and we were so close, so close. Every time I go out in the city I remember when she picked me up from school when I was young, but even in the apartment I have this good memories that are always coming up to my mind. I thought I was done with it telling me that she didn't suffer anymore but no, I can't forget and it's eating me but in the mid-time I don't want to forget her and all the good moments we spent together. I don't want to talk to someone about that in real life because it'll be more sad... I try to look happy every time I go out or even when I talk to someone but the reality is I'm sad. So I'm really feeling down at the moment, this plus my sexual orientation that I can't even figure out... And also I don't feel like talking to someone because I would look so stupid, I think some people have much bigger problems... Tomorrow I'm gonna have a math test, I'm going to do my best because I know my grandma would have loved that I get a great grade... Do you know what's going on with me? Do you have any advice? Thanks in advance for taking the time Book addict
Hey man! To be honest, I don't see the problem. I feel like you care too much about labels. I'm the same boat as you. I like men more, have crush on some guy friends, but I wouldn't deny women all together. In fact, I have a "girlfriend" right now. Its ok if you have preference in men, but like women too. Honestly, labels are just what they are. Labels. They don't describe you at all and you should not let them do so. As for the Grandma, it really sucks dude. My aunt passed away last year of uterine cancer and it was really rough for the family, especially for my mom. Do not be afraid to talk about your problems. People are there to listen and feeling like you're worthless will lead to nothing but unhappiness. For the sexual orientation, you are pretty much in the same boat as I am. Bisexual/Gay, but has the occasional woman crush. And thats fine. Whats there to no be fine? You dont need to say you're this and that. You are yourself, and that's great. I'm inside the closet as well, and I'm fine with it. I don't need to tell everyone about what I feel. I know what I feel and that is enough. Could you possibly think of it this way? In case I didn't address all your concerns, you can talk to me. Don't feel like you are wasting someone's time, you are not!
Hey! Thanks for taking the time! I'll definitely try but I feel like it is still hard to do. I'll try to talk to my friend about my sexuality and all. The problem is I don't know when and how. I just want to get better but not bothering the person in the mid time. But I will definitely try. Anyone else has something that could "help" me out? Book addict
Book Addict – People hate and fear uncertainty and ambiguity. We all want certainties. Black and white answers. It makes life easier. The labels that society clings to are designed to provide people with certainties. They’re designed to put people into neat little boxes that make them easier to understand. You have to either be gay (100% attracted to the same sex, 0% to the opposite sex), straight (100% attracted to the opposite sex, 0% to the same sex), or bisexual (100% attracted to both sexes). The reality is that when it comes to sexual orientation, there are no polarities. It’s a continuum. Very few people wind up one either ends of the continuum, nor do many people land smack dab in the middle of it. It sounds like you’re not attracted to all men – just certain types. It also sounds like you’re not attracted to all women – just certain types. It also sounds like there are more male types you’re attracted to than there are female types (though I could be wrong – only you know the answer to that one). I wouldn’t worry about what label should be applied to you. I would just focus on being who you are. You are someone that, like everyone else, is attracted to a certain type of person. For you, that person could be a man, and it could be a woman. There’s nothing wrong with that.
