First I want to apologize for my broke english cause I'm brazilian and my mother language is actually portuguese. Well, I'm not 100% sure of my sexuality and as i live in a very small town, where the LGBT community lives in the shadows, i don't really have anyone to talk about that. Everything started when i was just a kid. I used to feel a little bit shier when i was around pretty girls. Also i never had a real crush on guys and all my friends were having at that time. I asked myself sometimes if i was lesbian, but i didn't like to think about that so much. When i was 14 i already started to think some guys were cute, but still never felt in love. Then i met this girl who became my best friend. We met online, on twitter, and from the begining i knew she was gay. We became really close to each other then i started to realize that she was more than just a friend to me. When i kissed a boy for the first time, i told her right away cause i wanted her to feel jealous (ps: i hated kiss that boy and i felt disguste with myself). So i traveled to her city to spend some time at her house (actualy i ran away from home cause my mom didn't let me) and one night when we were lying together on her bed i finally kissed her. We dated for almost one year and it was with her that i had my first sexual experience. After we broke up i kissed 2 boys and i didn't feel anything like i did with her. But when i was 15 i had a real strong crush on this guy from my class and apparently he had a crush on me too. We started to date and i lost my virginity with him, but it only lasted 2 months. I'm pretty sure that the attraction i had for him was basically the same i had for that girl. Besides that 2 times, i never felt attracted pretty much for anyone else. Now i'm 17 and of course i have little crushes and there are boys and girls that i think they're really cute (mostly celebrities), but i have doubts about my sexuality because there are more boys than girls that i "like" and also i only kissed 1 girl. Can i be bisexual? Do i really need to feel the exactly same way about girls and boys, like 50/50? Please, help me and share your experiences. Would you think i am bisexual?
Hard to guess if you are bisexual but it doesn't matter. You seem to have a heart for the person. That is most important. Choose for you and be happy. To answer your question on 50/50 you don't need to feel the same. I have been with both sexually but the mind of the person has been my focus. Follow your heart, love you first, and what you share with whomever is your choice!
If you felt something with that girl back then it's quite likely that you're not straight. But being in love with a guy as well means that you're probably not a lesbian either = bisexual; And no, you don't have to be exactly 50/50, you might be more attracted to boys than girls. You don't have to label yourself like that and try to put you into a specific box. You're you and that's all that matters!
