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Why is it so hard to accept your own orientation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by iDunnodude, Jan 23, 2016.

  1. iDunnodude

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    I, myself, am bisexual. I think. Maybe. Or am I?
    You get the message.

    I guess most or all of us who has been in this position know that it's not about homophobia or anything like that. We find being LGBTQ completely fine and are super supportive of others, it's just that it can be so difficult to face the truth and accept it about ourselves.

    Why is that?
     
  2. Gomez

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    I think it's because our feelings often butt up against our preconceived ideas of ourselves. It's hard to let go of who you thought you were.
     
  3. Secrets5

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    Maybe it's because the person who made you realize it is really embarrassing so you'd rather repress it than answer the question ''how did you know?''. That's what it was for me, anyway.
     
  4. KBo

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    For me I think it was that sense of feeling different and would you just be pushed aside by everyone you knew because you aren't what you're supposed to be. And I had nothing against it as you say, but I wasn't like "those people", they were different and it was obvious that I wasn't that. I couldn't identify with what I knew to be gay but that was based on the stereotypes - I didn't have short spiky hair or drive a motorcycle so it made no sense to me. When I look back, A lot of that fear and confusion was from the unknown of what was on the other side of actually being out and living that lifestyle. We know nothing about how that works because all that is in the media is straight relationships. I thought it would be this whole different ball game dating a woman and that intimidated me for sure too. Little did I know it would be exactly like it was when I dated men, except this time I was more interested. I put myself through hell and the struggle of a lifetime for far too long before I finally accepted it for what it was and my life had never made more sense or felt more right when I did. Time is a great cure :slight_smile:
     
  5. ecallan

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    I just came out to my husband and I feel the same way as you do. I'm having a very difficult time accepting myself right now, plus I'm in a marriage. My husband tells me nothing's changed about me and he still accepts me as me. The thing is I don't feel like me anymore, I feel different somehow. I'm not sure how, but I know it's different. It's like this grand awakening or something but I'm sure it's been there all along but I'm just now coming to realize it was there and part of me all along. It's probably true for you too. It's been part of you all along but now all of a sudden it's in the conscious mind bringing up all kinds of feelings, emotions, memories etc.
     
  6. KBo

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    Was that something you think you pushed away for a long time? Did you feel a shift in your marriage before all of this came to light? What do you plan to do now that you are aware of this?
     
  7. Feelunique

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    For me was the cultural stigma and fear that made me feel bad and ashamed that what I shared and did with someone of the same sex was evil and bad.
     
  8. Jax12

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    I think it's because we all have preconceived ideas of how the LGBT community are treated: beat up, kicked out of our homes, ostracized, and/or even worse. We don't know what's going to happen to to us, therefore we begin to fear for the worst and being to, essentially, hide.

    Stereotypes, Social stigma: it's all part of why it takes time for us to resolve this inner conflict we have with ourselves.
     
  9. brainwashed

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