At this point, I'm questioning. I think that I might be a lesbian. But my attraction to women physically is about as low as it is to men. I've never looked at someone, of any gender, and wanted to kiss them or touch them intimately. I've never been aroused by a real person. I have been aroused by fictional character, so I know I'm probably not asexual. When I read fanfiction, I daydream of being in a scenario with a character I like, and then I feel arousal. In real life, though, I do feel butterflies, sort of. I'm really good friends with my roommate and I feel tingly inside when she says something nice to me, teases me, touches my arm, etc. I've had some female friends in the past like that. But I don't want to kiss them or anything. So, if I am a lesbian, is what I feel normal? Should I be feeling intense sexual desire for hot women?
Everything you've written sounds perfectly normal. I think most women need more than just super hot looks to get intense sexual desires. In general, not matter their sexuality. I think you're attraction to fictional characters illustrates this. You've gotten to know her character and things about her that you have become attracted to. So, it stands to reason that in real life, you'd need the same thing. To get to know someone and learn what makes her tick and find that something that makes her special to you and then ... Does that make sense?
Really is so right. I rarely see someone I just want to have sex with on the sidewalk, but if I get to know someone and there is a connection there mutually and mentally, then the sparks start to fly.
I agree with both above posts. I had always enjoyed women, but had never really thought about kissing one. Even though I have in my teens. Then I met a woman that I felt so close to. Then discovered she shared the same feelings. As time went on I found myself thinking about her hand in mine and what her lips would feel like. I had never really thought like that before. And I was a very sexual person. But meeting this person that made me feel love, true love it was different. Once you meet someone you connect with and truly enjoy you will feel the want to be near them in more intimate ways.
I agree with most of what I read here. I have found myself attracted to more online people than real people, simply because I spend more time getting to know their personality. Their looks are hardly relevant at all. My ex, and only girlfriend at all, was very good looking. I was and am attracted to her looks. I do like to kiss and cuddle... All that stuff. But I can honestly say it would not have made a bit of difference in the beginning, had I known what kind of person she really was. That being said, I think the important thing is that you worry about what makes you happy. I am attracted to a certain kind of woman, for certain reasons. You can choose your own reasons to be with someone. There is no need to put yourself in any kind of box. Just, find the things you enjoy about women (or men) and just enjoy it.
