Hello guys, I have been very confused before but I am now confused again. I call myself bisexual but I am starting to question it. I find myself thinking about guys and I get erect buy when I think about girls I find it much harder to get erect with girls than guys but I still have a romantic attraction towards girls but I actually find it harder to get aroused by them?is this homromantic/hetero romantic bisexual or what? Am I still bisexual or what's the story?And what is my orientation? I am very confused. I have came out to my class and parents and aunt as bisexual but if this has changed I don't know what to do. All advice is appreciated. Oh and whenever I see a hot girl I can't stop thinking about how hot she is but I find it harder to become erect than it is with guys Thanks Guys, TheBiBoy
Hey Biboy, Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. All these questions can be super tough to deal with. I appreciate reading about other people's issues, because I have so many of my own. Here is my perspective: it seems that a lot of your confusion is exclusively 'mental,' and I may go so far as to say completely "theoretical." In other words, it seems that you are trying to determine your romantic and sexual attraction based exclusively on your mental reaction to the people you see and encounter in the world. Unless I am mistaken, it doesn't seem like you are actually engaging with anyone on a romantic or physical level. Are you dating or romantically involved with anyone? Are you involved in any physical or sexual contact with a desirable person? Are you kissing anyone? If the answer to the above questions are "no," then it may be reasonable to assume that your brain is in a type of hyperdrive, and is overreacting and over-analyzing all the signals and inputs that are directing your thinking. In my opinion, personal experiences will be a more suitable judge than just what your brain is telling you. The brain is a powerful powerful thing, but it should be balanced with personal experiences. I hope that helps. xoxo, Trevor ---------- Post added 28th Jan 2016 at 10:57 AM ---------- I should also add: I totally relate to the fear of potentially not feeling comfortable with the label that you have told others about. That is totally rational, and a bit terrifying to think you might have to 'change' it Here is the thing: you don't have to make any decisions right now. Take time to gather more information, to have more experiences, and to broaden your understanding of yourself. Also, your sexuality - like many facets of your life - are open to change. Rather than trying to find a specific label or identity that will fit your forever, it may be more worthwhile to recognize that you are a flower that will continue to unfold throughout your lifetime. Change is the only constant. Be gentle and compassionate. You deserve love, and loving yourself is vital.
I've had a few relationships with girls and I kissed them and I loved it so much. I have also hinted on a few guys and I loved it even though some of them were straight. I feel that I love guys and that it is more than just my brain on hyper drive. Your Answer helped me a lot and it helped me come to terms and now I have settled down to me being bisexual again. I'll read your answer whenever I am feeling like that again!
I'm glad that you're feeling more comfortable TheBibBoy. I would like to clarify something: my post was aimed at helping you recognize that understanding your own sexuality is a lifelong process. Going out and having personal experiences with different people is a practical way of broadening your understanding of yourself. In other words, you may find that personal experience with me go against your brain's fantasies, preferences, passions, and desires. When we only 'think' about something, we can be led to believe things that have no evidence to back it up. I didn't intent to make you 'feel,' 'believe,' or 'know' something specific about yourself; rather, it is important to explore. Happy exploring (and be safe!), Trevor
