How to get rid of doubts

I understand how difficult it can be and trust me, I had a lot of doubts at first too (this was when I was trying to come to terms with liking girls when I still thought I was a cis girl). It's natural to have these kinds of doubts, and sometimes trying to forcibly get rid of them won't work, because it might be your brain just trying to work through and accept who you are and who you're attracted to and various internal and external fears manifesting as thoughts and worries. It's scary, but give yourself some room and let yourself be okay with that element of uncertainty.

It's fairly probable you are a lesbian, but that might take a period of time to come to terms with- and in that period of time you might struggle with those doubts, and external pressure from society, friends, family, are contributing factors to that too. It's completely normal and I'm sure so many of us, even those incredibly confident in their sexuality, have gone through similar struggles at some point.

Just remember you don't need to be 10000% certain in who you are to begin and try to embrace it and validate and accept yourself, for yourself. If you find your mind is asking you questions/posing doubts you don't know how to answer- eg- "have I somehow tricked my mind into thinking I'm gay?" - you don't need to have a definite answer to that, because you might not find one. I'm sure you haven't tricked anything, just came to a better understanding of yourself, and that was an exact doubt I had in the beginning too, but sometimes it will actually help more if you let those doubts be there and continue doing what you want to do and work on being accepting of yourself. Some doubts just won't have a conclusive, concrete, fully evidenced solution- that's the nature of the uncertainty sometimes. But that's okay, because these doubts come and go especially in the beginning and during the process of figuring yourself out/accepting yourself, and they're rarely as meaningful as the anxiety and fear they provoke might suggest. If it's a genuine question about yourself you'd like to explore and are happy doing so, go ahead. But a lot, if not most, of the time it is okay to just accept those doubts are there with no need to prove/prove wrong every single one.

You are you, and you don't need complete certainty to be happy with that and validated. If you don't want to label yourself just yet, that's fine. If you're think you're a lesbian and identify as such, that's completely fine too. Meanwhile, work on allowing yourself to be okay with this part of your identity- meet and talk to other girls who also like girls, read/watch some interviews of celebrities who are also gay or who are bisexual or pan, expose yourself to LGBT+ media and people. Make accepting and understanding yourself a positive experience, and no matter what doubts are there they don't invalidate you. Usually, just let them be there whilst you explore what you like and who you like, let them come and go. Eventually you will naturally come to a point where you're more assured, and more comfortable with the occasional inconsequential doubts that a lot of us may have from time to time.

Best of luck- and I've been through all the same (or similar) doubts when I first realized I like girls. Now, that's the most certain part about my sexual orientation I know.

 

you could just have the romantic attraction to women without having the sexual attraction as well. this is actually more common than you might think, so don't worry about it too much. if you can, put it on the back burner for now. however, if you think doing that will cause more stress, just think and ask yourself what you want. identify with whatever label makes you comfortable. everything will all work out, i promise.