So I have this massive crush on this girl heather but I don't know her sexuality. We share a couple classes and today I found out that I get to sit with her and one of my best friends for a month. I'd like to try to find out where she is lgbt wise, she knows a bunch of lgbt stuff and has a lot of gay friends so I'm hoping she is also gay, and maybe try flirting with her to see if she's interested in me? I'm not out to any of my friends so that is probably a big problem considering I'm always around them so I can't talk to her without any of them knowing. Is there any subtle way I can find out her sexuality without coming out to my friends? Or do I just have to be blunt and ask her?
You could try talking about how hot a female celebrity is and see how she reacts or ask who some of her celebrity crushes are. I feel like you could do either of those without coming out and her reaction might give you some indication of her sexuality. You could also look online at maybe her facebook or other social media and see what she posts and likes. E.g. if she likes a lot of shows with LGBT characters she might be interested in girls, or she could have pictures with an ex-girlfriend. If you do choose to ask her what her sexuality is outright, maybe do it when you two aren't in a public group in case she's nervous about answering in front of a bunch of people. There's a chance it could come up naturally in a conversation, too, like when she's talking about one of her gay friends you could ask her casually. Best of luck
I would advise being blunt. It will help you avoid any misunderstandings. You would not want to ask in some subtle way, and misinterpret the answer. That could end in some serious embarrassment for you. You don't have to tell anyone anything about yourself though. Just get her alone and make the question about her. The only thing is, make sure you do not make her feel pressured to tell you anything she is not comfortable with. She may be in the closet too. It will be like walking on eggshells, but it is better than leaving yourself to wonder... Hope that helps. <3
Thank you so much for replying and wishing me luck. I've been thinking that I could subtly ask her some of the questions you mentioned, with valentines day coming up it could be more natural topic of discussion; however I definitely won't ask her or talk to her about her sexuality around a lot of people, I have a feeling that would probably turn out terribly.
