First I would like to say my english suck, sorry. I have searched the internet for answers, but was unable to find any information about my sexuality, which I think is straight... I am in desperate need of opinions short bio: 21 years old, male. (Not sure how it might sound but i think its important in some degree) - Im very blond, naturaly(very rare in my country), Im little above average height, slim and most people rate me as a handsome man... So lets get to the point, which im not sure how will I explain good enough.. I have never been attracted to any men, nor real or fictional. I am attracted to women and i have always been. Had a 4 years relationship with a girl which was very good and we broke up simple because we stoped loving each other over the years. I always seek the atention of the women in the situation I am. I find them attractive they arouse me and all those things. (things i never experienced with men, and didnt want to or need to) New poeple i meet always wonder about my sexuality, but only because of the way I look(blond slim have some sense for fashion, things i explained above). After a very short while they dont think so. Women i have been with, are of an opinion that im 100% NOT gay, not that I aksed them, it just comes up, because of the way I look and how people i dont know perceive me, they think so because of my personality and because of the sex we make. Im moderately dominant in both sex and life. I simply enjoy gender roles, and bullshit as the man have to be a man i feel protective for women and all those "animal" like behaviors(which i dont mind at all) ( and i have to say im not some "alfa" "macho" and some other crazy things like that) So.. i have never felt attracted to any real or fictional male characters. I dont have any fetishes as far as i know. I enjoy sex with women. I find women attractive. Your average guy... But there is one "problem". When I mastrubate.. I ALMOST EVERYTIME end up fantasizing about a "male" that i have a sexual intercourse with him or maybe "it" is more apropriate. And again its never a real or fictional person.. its just male I dont even think about its face or any particiluar parts of its body except one.. and I am always passive in those fantasies. And its very much real and it gets me going really fast.. and I enjoy those fantasies. But I dont really want to try them, I really dont find men attractive. One of my closest friends is gay and i have never felt any sexual desire towards him, absolutly nothing. And nothing towards ANY male. (btw this friend of mine do not think I am gay or bi, acording to his "gayradar"? i have heard that this thing is accurate ) And again to be clear of any misunderstandings, i dont have any attraction to transgenders or transsexuals or bi sexuals or any other form of sexualities there are. I am attracted to straight women.. Im in desprate need of opinions on that matter.. because I have never met a person on such conditions and havent really found any info on the net(maybe i didnt search good enough?) I am willing to answer ANY question that you might have, literaly about ANYTHING. That you think might help you, help me. ps: sorry if some parts of the text are inapropriate. I have a very low english vocabulary. edit: Maybe I should add that gay porn is a turn off for me, too.
It sounds like you are straight. It is really just up to you though. You are free to have any sexual orientation you please.
Hello, Straight people can be turned on by gay porn, and vise versa, but it doesn't decide that individual's sexuality.
thanks for the replies! I think im straight too.. but that thing with the "male" I described as the problem. Any opinions on that. I find it messed up. Cant explain it to myself. ps: i do not get turned on by gay porn, maybe I shouldnt have said it, it doesnt bring much it only confuse.
Well from what you're telling me it sounds like you're straight. The fantasy of having sex with a male does present an interesting situation though. This is actually where the complexity of sexual identity comes in. Sexual identity is not really as stagnant and rigidly defined as most people would have you believe. It's a fairly complex issue where the parameters of one orientation or the other are only loosely interpreted. That being said you pretty clearly are sexually, emotionally and romantically attracted to straight women with a pattern of consistent thoughts and behaviors to back this up. So without me knowing anything else, I would say you're straight. That being said though, relax about trying to convince yourself or others that you're straight. If you feel that you are, you are. Don't be too resistant to the idea that you might MIGHT not be completely straight though But like I said you seem pretty straight to me.
Thanks for the reply. I think it would be best to stick around and try to figure it out. I hate being confused and not being able to understand something . And again any opinion would be greatly appreciated .
A couple of thoughts that came to mind when reading your post: First - you mention being 'dominant in sex and life' Second - you mention that during your fantasies you are 'passive' - by which I'm assuming (and please correct me if I'm wrong) you mean bottoming or being penetrated. The first thought that comes to mind in this is that perhaps expending all that energy on being 'dominant' is getting old or a bit tiring and that at some level you'd like to have an opportunity to just relax and let someone else 'drive' from time to time. This needn't be a permanent state of affairs - but it might make a nice break. The second thought that comes to mind is that you presumably have some awareness that a lot (although not all) gay men enjoy anal sex and find it very pleasurable (a number of straight men also enjoy anal stimulation, usually done using toys either alone or with the cooperation of their wives/girlfriends) - and perhaps there is some part of you that wonders what that might feel like (anal stimulation, stimulation of the prostate) and if it would feel good. This isn't a matter of wanting sex with a man so much as wondering about a potential new set of sexual sensations - not all that different from why some men may try different masturbation techniques or some straight couples may try sexy clothes, or roleplay, or BDSM or toys to see if they might enjoy it and 'spice things up' a bit. As far as what you might do about these things (assuming I'm on base with my thoughts): Have you ever had a professional grade massage? Nothing sexual, but a full on hour to 90 minutes at the hands of a licensed professional massage therapist where your only responsibility is to lay there and not fall asleep? Being able to just totally relax and let someone work on getting rid of tight muscles and tension is something I highly recommend. The other thought is that you might try experimenting with a toy or two as part of your masturbation sessions and see if you enjoy it. You may be straight, but you still have a lot of nerves down there and a prostate - and they may enjoy being stimulated. Solo play with a toy might let you experience something of the fantasy you're having and scratch that particular itch without actually needing to involve another guy, although you might ultimately find a female partner who would be willing to play with you in this area. There are some percentage of straight couples that do this. Just some thoughts, Todd
