So for a few months now, I have been semi-secure in thinking that I am either asexual or autochorissexual and greyromantic. But sometimes I have times when I start to feel as if I'm just imitating things that I have read to make myself feel special. While I don't feel like this most of the time, sometimes I feel really bad about myself because of these thoughts. I just convince myself that I'm just inventing feelings to be different than other people. Does anybody else do this to themselves?
I've felt like that before. It may have something to do with insecurity or simply worrying that you're wrong. But hey, what you feel is what you feel. This has been a big part of your life I'm guessing, figuring it out. That's serious and that's real to you and remember that. Let's say, completely hypothetically here, you turned out not to be asexual and/or greyromantic. Even if you decided this wasn't true, that does not invalidate your experiences and struggles figuring it out, nor does it invalidate the fact that it is a serious thing in your life. You're probably criticizing yourself like you're a person who completely makes up something random that they know not to be true for attention. I can tell that is absolutely not the case here and you shouldn't be hard on yourself. What you think is what you think, what you feel is what you feel. Sometimes we get those things mixed up because we're human. But at the end of the day, those thoughts and feelings are our own and we can't blame ourselves for misreading them or thinking something that turns out not to be true. And just remember: it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to not be right. It's okay to one day say, hey, I think I feel this way more. Knowing that makes it easier to not stress about that type of thing because it really is okay no matter what. In the future you may find you feel different feelings that you haven't felt before and decide to readjust your label accordingly. Or you may feel the same. Either way, you're still you. Remember, they're all just feelings we have. So many feelings in different places and different ways and labels are just finicky little words that we try to shove all those feelings into and get stressed when we're not sure if they fit quite right. Don't stress. You're feelings are your feelings and it's alright if they change, it's alright if you have new and different feelings at any time, and it's alright if you have the same feelings. You are you no matter what. You're not just seeking attention. Maybe you're still figuring it out, trying things out to see what fits the best, or maybe you're sure. Either way, it doesn't matter and you're not doing anything wrong.
