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How long does it take?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by pdog2491, Feb 4, 2016.

  1. pdog2491

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2014
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So hey everyone, as my intro says, im dealing with a lot of questions about my sexuality. Ive been questioning my sexuality since I was in the 5th grade when I watched porn for the first time. It was gay porn. Over the years, I would go through these periods where I would either be really into girls or really into guys. This past summer, I started getting this weird feeling in my stomach and all I could think of is men. It was a feeling and experience that Id never had before. A few months later I acted on it, multiple times. It was the first time id ever had any sexual experience with a man or woman. Now within the past few weeks, I am back at this place where I feel that I like the idea of being gay and doing the act more than actually doing the act and being gay. It has been all so confusing. Im 21 and I still am confused by this. I dont know, if im just pushing away my true feelings because of how our society reacts to the LGBT community or if im just bi. I obviously know that im not 100% straight. So i would just really love some advice. Thanks.
     
  2. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
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    Location:
    New England, US
    It takes different amounts of time for everyone and it's okay for it to take a while. There are people on this website of all different ages who are figuring things out about themselves.
    It's great that you came to this site and I can tell you've really been honest with yourself about your feelings. It's okay to be confused and not know all the answers. I find it's best not to over analyze and stress about it though. I know that's easier said than done, but focusing on it can make it hard to tell what you're actually feeling. Try to shift your focus towards other things in your life and remember that worrying about it is more harmful to you because it probably doesn't make you very happy and oftentimes worrying doesn't get you anywhere farther. These things just come in time. That doesn't mean you have try and stop caring about it, just try not to stress and think about it too much and try to accept that the answers will come in time and you can't force or rush that.

    I like to focus on the things I do know about myself. Like for you, you said you know you're not 100% straight. That's great! You know, some people never even figure that out about themselves and they miss out. That knowledge is something to be proud of and thankful for. So try to focus on the positive more.

    I hope this helps and I wish you the best!
     
  3. state-champs

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2016
    Messages:
    143
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    Location:
    Union City
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    It really depends. There's no set age on when people should announce their sexuality or whatnot. Some people know from the time they were 2 years old. Other people finally acknowledge it at 50 years old. It really just depends on the person and their influences around them. Whether it be their parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, etc.

    I'm kinda new to this whole thing too because I came to terms with it not too long ago (may 2015). I really wish you the best and hope that you'll make the right decision whenever the time is right.